Random recap of sorts of the last two games

Sunday, May 31, 2009

... because I can. And I feel like being random. Whoo!

Game One
  • boring first period for the most part. I thought the crowd at the Joe had died...
  • Wings score off of Flambe's butt. Hmm... thought he was trying to avoid that?
  • Pens reply when Osgood mishandles a rebound
  • Wings score off of Flambe's foot. Oh dear...
  • Ozzy some amazing saves. Is this really Ozzy?
  • Wings get another goal. No hattrick for Flambe. Abdelkader the Denis Killer scores the goal.
  • With an empty net, the Wings can't put the puck in for the fourth goal. Apparently they need Flambe's help that badly.
  • Puffy tries to play physically. Gets called a "headhunter" and whacks some Wings around.
Game Two
  • boring first period. Pens run around the Wings a bit. Nothing too serious.
  • Oh! Bingo! the Puffles score first on the... PP! After a mad scramble inside Ozzy's net.
  • Is this the night karma disses the Wings?
  • No. Wings reply in the second with no help from Flambe this time
  • Wings get another goal.
  • And another one. This one courtesy of Flambe not paying attention really.
  • Wings still haven't mastered the art of scoring on an empty net.
  • I nominate Zetterberg for the Vezina trophy. He curled himself into a ball behind Ozzy and stopped Puffy from scoring. Forget Schenn. Zetterberg for the Vezina!
  • Puffy actually works but nobody else felt like working
  • It was "let's see how many players we can fit into the net" night
  • Eggplant attempted to fight. Semin is still the master of botched up fights but we'll let Eggplant be number two.
  • And I think the NHL forgot what "automatic" means. As in "automatic suspension if you instigate a fight at the end of the game" because Eggplant isn't getting some downtime in the press box.
So what do you know... maybe these finals are semi interesting afterall....

Oh. My. God. Nadal. Just. Lost.

Excuse me while I go die of shock.

Okay. Back.

Nadal just lost at the French Open. Nadal has never lost at the French open. Never ever. I'm not lying. He came in this tournament four years ago for the first time ever, won it, and has never looked back.


This would be like the Wings losing to the Blue Jackets or something... In five games at that. Imagine that. That's what just happened. And that is bad.

I missed most of the match, but I really think a lot of this was Nadal just playing terribly and then letting the whole thing go to his head and continuing being bad. While I think Soderling did do a good job of punishing Nadal on short returns, I'm not sure sure I'm ready to give the world 29 or whichever number he is ranked, all the credit. Nadal was definitely out of it.

There is really only one potential good thing coming out of this. And that is Federer now has a chance to win this tournament for the first time ever. Without Nadal and without the alledged world number two on clay (Djokovic who went out to another random guy), the Fed now has a real chance to win it. Right Roger? Don't let it go to your head though. You've got a lot of work ahead of you and you've got Murray to possibly contend with in the finals - although I really hope not.

Hmm anyway... Let's hope Flambe and Ozzy can continue more of the same tonight. Sorry Flambe but I wouldn't mind too much if you scored on yourself a couple of times again.....

Game 1... *yawns*

Saturday, May 30, 2009

If you're like me and the prospect of watching this Puffles Wings game puts you to sleep, then you can spend your time watching this Peachawks thing. Very amusing. And Perky is in it because he was a Hawk then.

In important Habs news....: Sergei and Andrei and Hammer have been completely cleared. Yay! So much for the big scandal. Pfft. Still waiting to get my hands on La Presse to see if they actually reported this. Now stop hanging out with people like this!

And because it is tennis season....

First off, a look at the Clay Monster:

(image from Yahoo sports)

Yup. Sorbet coloured Rafa. Just what I always wanted.... NOT! At least Roger doesn't look like ice cream.... No Roger just looks like...

(image from yahoo sports)

.....OH GAWD! Roger looks like a Puffy. DAMN YOU NIKE!

I can do random too!

Friday, May 29, 2009

(click the lovely picture for full size)

...I mean... even more random..... ANYWAY..... This was done by @hockeyisgood who kindly volunteered to do this after I said I had nothing interesting to write now that the hockey season is pretty much over. You'd probably have to know most of the people on twitter to get this so if you don't really know... you should at least be able to appreciate the accurate depiction of me *g*

Blah, blah, blah Stanley Cup finals...

Myeh, couldn't care less right now. My only interest is to see Crysob lose. Hey, I got to see Ronaldo lose. What, I forgot to mention that Man U lost in the Champions League final? Oops. Well, they did. They lost 2-0 to Barcelona. I think I could very well be persuaded to like Barcelona. Anyway... One whiney crybaby down, one to go!


I was just reminded after reading something on puckdaddy that Detroit has beaten the Flyers, the Capitals, the Hurricanes and the Penguins to win their last four Stanley Cups. In that order.

Notice anything?

Why yes, the Penguins have beaten the Flyers, the Capitals and the Hurricanes this season to reach the finals.

I think that's slightly creepy. Not as creepy as those Sedin twins. But still....

And am I the only one who doesn't really care about Hossa and which team he plays for? He was a free agent, he wanted to play with a team that could win, Detroit said "sure we'll take you". What's the deal? Is everyone who leaves the Penguins to go play with a team that beat them going to be labeled as a "jerk" now?

If I learned one thing from the Montreal media.....

Thursday, May 28, 2009

With rumor season now in full swing, it's time for everyone to crazy. "Kovalev offered a 6 million dollar contract AND the captaincy?", "Koivu going to Minnesota!","Capitals on steroids", "Komisarek turns down a 6 million dollar contract". It goes on and on and on and on.

The one thing I learned from the media here is that you have to take everything you read about hockey - and in particular, the Habs - with a grain of salt (okay more like a huge tub of salt). When there are no quotes coming specifically from people directly involved, then you have to assume that it's not true until someone comes around an confirms them. A lot of the rumors that we hear are plain false and the ones that do have a grain of truth to them are blown way out of proportion. I'm also particularly wary when the so-called sources are "sources who told the media in another country on the other side of the world". I'm sure things get reported wrong in the Russian media and I'm sure by the time it gets back to us, something is lost in translation. I think someone at one point described it as the game "broken teleophone" and that's a perfect analogy.

Maybe the Canadiens did offer Kovalev a 6 million one year contract. Maybe they don't plan on resigning Koivu. Maybe Komisarek did turn down an offer that seems to change from four million to six million dollars. But until someone from the Canadiens or one of these guy's agents comes around and says "yes, that's true", I'm not going to give them too much serious thought.

It's just too easy to get caught up in the media furor that descends on any and every bit of information and then proceeds to turn it into the major earth shattering news of the day. And there is really no point is getting overly excited about it. Take a deep breath and relax.

Broken Wings vs "good little divers"

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The poor Peachhawks were sent packing tonight in OT. I'm a little crushed but I was fully expecting this so I guess I'm not too cut up about it. Well, okay, it was sad. Really sad. But there is some positives.

The good
  • I got my Peach goal. I love Peach Fuzz.
  • I love the Peachhawks. They're totally my team in the west right now.
  • Huet... oh my god.... I felt kinda proud of him. Even if I never saw him play here. Felt better about that performance than I did about Theodore's as a Cap anyway... Way to be awesome Huet. And that foot save in the last few seconds of regulation time to keep it tied? Amazing.
The bad
  • Another flipping Wings/Pens final
  • The Wings are broken. The Pens aren't.
  • I still don't have faith in Ozzy to out-goalie Flambe....
  • I'm clearly not a die-hard Peachhawks fan yet. I'm not depressed and I'm now going back to the Wings - not that I had a choice.
The ugly
  • Puffy. What? You thought I was letting that one pass? Nope.
  • I think I just agreed to wear a Looch shirt........ someone please go out and destroy all Looch shirts by the morning. Thanks!
  • Hossa vs. the Puffles. Oh the over-dramatic storyline here....
The "what the heck TV"
  • TV talks about Canada's deficit which suddenly got a lot bigger and for some reason they randomly show footage of an Ovie goal. Not getting the connection there, TV. Oh well. I liked seeing Ovie score. Made me all happy inside.

What do you know... there is a specific scientific name for Crosby

This was brought to my attention by a Caps fan over at A View from the Cheap Seats. Needless to say I had to bring this up here too. Loooook, I found out where Crosby fits in this whole species thing:

From Wikipedia.

The genus Eudyptula ("good little diver") contains two species of penguin. It is found in southern Australia, Tasmania, New Zealand and the Chatham Islands.

Eudyptula minor is commonly known as the Little Penguin, Little Blue Penguin, or Fairy Penguin. In the language of the Māori people of New Zealand, Little Blue Penguins are known as kororaa [hey, that's almost Crosby!].

It's also the smallest species of penguins. Not that Puffy is overly short or anything...

Yes, if you look at the article that penguin actually exists. I'm probably the only one who finds this beyond funny.....

So Roy doesn't want the job now...


After deliberating for nearly two weeks, the Hall of Fame goaltender told the Avs late Tuesday night that he will not accept their offer, the Denver Post reported on Wednesday.

Roy cited family reasons for his decision, the newspaper reported. He will continue as coach of the Quebec Remparts of the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League, the newspaper said.

"I felt pretty comfortable moving up, but the family situation is just not quite there for me right now," Roy told the Post on Wednesday morning. "When it comes to family, it's always easier to make a decision. But don't get me wrong here, I have the Avalanche at heart. There's two very special organizations for me -- Montreal and Colorado -- and it's never easy. I would have seen it as a great challenge.

"But the door is not closed, that's for sure."

Roy told the newspaper that it was important that he remain close to his three children, for various reasons.

"Jon is starting a new career right now in music and I think it's important for me to be around him," he told the Post. "Frederick is going to Santa Monica to study and give a try as an actor, and I just want to make sure that I'm there to support them. If I were to take that [Avs] job, it would have been very demanding on my time.

"Everybody who knows me knows, if I would have taken this job, I would have worked extremely hard at it and it would have been a great challenge."

Tony Granato remains Colorado's coach. The Avs are still in the process of searching for a new general manager.

I'm reading "Colorado is like WAY too far away. But if the Canadiens want to offer me a job........ But if they don't offer me a job then you're perfectly free to offer it to me again."

I'm not pleased by this. At all. Ick.

More rumors and... Laraque's a vegetarian?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Last thing first, I think. I admit it, I've been kind of hard on Laraque this year. I was not very impressed with his role on the team this year. I thought - and still think - this whole code thing is silly. But as much as I don't like him as a player, he just earned some points as a human being for at least considering going vegetarian. Obviously, I'm a vegetarian - mostly vegan if we want to be picky about the wording - and I've never considered hockey players as the type to actually think about what they're putting in their mouths. Especially not a guy like Laraque who has this whole tough guy reputation on the ice. So, yeah, kudos to Georges for at least taking the time to think about what happens to the animals before they make it to a dinner plate. And take a couple of extra points for being grossed out by it. Hell, take a few more for making me be impressed by you for once.

Okay. Enough about that. Back to rumor season because I'm having so much fun with it.

This is the little rumory thing that has Guy Boucher in as the potential head-coach in Hamilton, that I mentioned yesterday. Just once, I'd like to know how people come up with this stuff.

The Swedish media (hopefully more reliable than the Russian media) has the Habs signing a 1 year two-way contract with Mikael Johansson. As per Habs Inside/out

Johansson, who's 5'10" and weighs 182 lbs., has scored 95 points in 203 games in the highest Swedish league with Farjestad. Johansson was originally drafted by Detroit in 2003 (9th round). He had an unspectacular 6 goals and 28 assists in 49 games and was minus-4 with Farjestad this year, down from 15-24 and plus-11 in '07-'08. He was 1+3 in 11 playoff games.

Habs Inside/Out also has the ever reliable non-specific "Russian Media" reporting that Alexei Yemelin negotiating with the Canadiens.

Speaking of the Habs....This site has the Russian media saying:

Alexei Kovalev has been offered a one-year, $6-million by the Canadiens and could be the team's captain next season. Both he and Saku Koivu are unrestricted free agents so this is possible and $6-million would be a raise from the $4.5-million a season deal he was playing on.

And while we're talking about Russians and the Russian media....This Russian site has Fedorov close to signing a deal with Metallurg Magnitorgorsk (you might remember that as the team that Malkin played for). No I didn't read it in Russian. I cheated and saw it on puckdaddy. However, Tarik El-Bashir at the Washington Post says it's not a done deal and Fedorov would still like to play with Washington.

AND proof that Blersus sucks


Hockey fans in the United States aren’t the only ones struggling to find the Stanley Cup playoffs on their televisions.

The Wings found themselves in the same boat while staying in Chicago when seeking to watch the eastern conference final etween the Pittsburgh Penguins and Carolina Hurricanes.

“I haven’t even seen a game yet,” Osgood said. “The hotel we were in doesn’t have Versus.

“I saw a bit of the last game in a restaurant from a distance, but that was it. I put it on my phone live and try to get the updates as it goes along.

“I haven’t seen them, but I’ve read about them on my phone.”

As fun as all of this is, I'd like to see some more nutty stuff. Like, maybe Roy is being offered the job as the next Commish. Now that I could find amusing...

Insane rumor of the day: Roy as headcoach AND GM?

Monday, May 25, 2009

Via TSN:

Patrick Roy could be head coach and general manager of the Colorado Avalanche if he accepts the posts from his former club.

According to Ruefrontenac.com - a Montreal-based news website - Avs president Pierre Lacroix has offered Roy both jobs and that Roy wants to hire former teammate Sylvain Lefebvre and Drummoundville head coach Guy Boucher as his assistants.

The GM posting became vacant after Lacroix fired Francois Giguere last month and Tony Granato is still the team's head coach.

The Montreal report added that Craig Billington - the Avs' vice president of hockey operations and Roy's former backup, could serve as a co-general manager.

The Denver Post reported last week that the Avalanche offered Roy the coaching job, and added there was a possibility he might get the vacant general manager's job as well.

Ruefrontenac.com also reports that Lacroix is offering Roy almost full control over the club's hockey operations as a way of trumping any potential offer from his other former team - the Montreal Canadiens.

Um.. What?! I mean....Whatever keeps him from coming to Montreal. Still....wow... And I heard a rumor that Boucher was headed to Hamilton. Which would be nicer. Don't you just love rumor season?

Question to ponder: What would it be like to work with your former backup? For some reason I just can't picture that working out so well. Maybe it's because I can't imagine Roy getting along with anybody to begin with?

Peachhawks show their age

Sunday, May 24, 2009

... or total lack thereof. I refuse to go into gory details but yeah, they brought out their immature side today. The good news is, that this team looks set to be fantastic in the near future - once these guys grow up a bit. That is good news indeed, because I can not really stomach the idea of yet another Penguins/Red Wings final next year.

Please - for the love of hockey - someone please make your team into a serious contender and knock out those Pens and Wings. Hey, I'm still dreaming of that lovely Capitals/Peachhawks finals. That would be so sick. In the good way. Make it happen. Pwease.

Anyway... ten days off from this mess sounds so appealing right now. Imagine. Ten days without seeing Puffy's puffy face on the TV (in theory). Ten days without the Wingsies. I can't wait to pretend the season is over and nobody won the Stanley Cup. The Pens shattered most of what was left of my hockey heart that wasn't already smushed by the Habs and the Wings just killed the little bit that was left. Thanks Wings. Hockey can officialy go off and die until training camp comes around in the fall.

No more hockey, please. I'm going to watch my tennis and I'm going to like it. Maybe. Depends on Roger Federer.... He'll probably crush my tennis heart by losing in spectacular fashion. Great.

EDIT: The stupid NHL is now trying to say it wants to bump up the date of the finals if both series finish up by Wednesday. Pfffft. MAKE UP YOUR MIND, DAMNIT!

NHL Schedule = Epic Fail

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Thought one day off from NHL hockey was bad? Guess what? We're now in for a potential TEN DAY break between the conference finals and the beginning of the Stanley Cup finals. And when the finals DO arrive, we could be in for two sets of back-to-back games.

Let's see what's wrong with this picture....
  1. One set of back-to-back games in the playoffs is bad enough, I think. TWO sets of back-to-back games in the Stanley Cup Final, to me, is just stupid and unfair to the players.
  2. Even I can completely forget about hockey in the space of ten days. And if a die-hard fan can forget about hockey in 10 tens, then what to do you think will happen to all those casual fans who just show up for the playoffs? If for nothing else, that's bad for business. And this playoff schedule was made with the idea of it being good for business.
  3. The sad thing is the schedule is messed because the NHL is catering to the wants/needs of NBC. Seriously. NBC? We're about to witness the worst scheduling of the Stanley Cup finals ever because of a network that barely covers hockey to begin with?
Let's hope the Whalercanes and Peachhawks can make it a long series to save us from this horrendous scheduling attempt.

Oh and.... If I ever take over the NHL, remind me to ditch NBC right after I fire Colin Campbell.

Now THIS is a Peachhawk!

Thank you Grrrrreg! *squeals* Yay! They SO need to make this official logo of the Peachhawks *nods*


Friday, May 22, 2009

(Dude, you have to let your mouthguard hang out, not your tongue.... *shakes head*)

Wrong Patrick got the game winner in OT, but the Peachhawks win and make me squeal with delight - which is something. I haven't done that since.... game 6 of the Caps/Puffles series. FEEL THE POWER OF THE PEACHINESS!

- blowing a 3-0 lead is BAD. The Peachhawks had 2 goals in the first period and another one early in the second, only to blew it completely. Third saw no more scoring despite the Wings dominating the play.
- Hitting and concussing someone (Havlat) is BAD. I don't care if the hit was "clean". Concussions are no laughing matter and they do not need to be a part of hockey. It makes me sick to my stomach to see someone just lying on the ice with their eyes basically staring blanking at the ceiling.
- Kronwall was finally tossed for an ugly hit.
- Crabby Khabby is not okay. He was pulled for... Huet.... (HUET?!) and wasn't seen after. Not even on the bench. Not good. He was doing really well up until the point where the whole team collapsed.
- I'm not sure I like seeing our ex-goalies.... Jose was horrendous in his first game of this playoffs and Huet scared me to death...
- Peach Fuzz looked better than the last game.
- Peachbrook got a peachgoal for the Peachhawks is a lot of fun to say....

Oh you mean there's something other than hockey coming up?

Well, if hockey won't be interesting, then maybe tennis or football will. Then again, maybe not.

This Sunday will see the start of Roland Garros aka the French Open. What is this and why do we care? Well, let's see, it's the second of four Grand Slam tennis tournaments (Grand Slam = Uber important tournament). It's played in... France (hence the name). And it's played on clay. Yeah, that's the part part. Why? Because the Clay Monster (aka Nadal aka the Ovie of Tennis) has just OWNED this tournament. At 22, he's already bidding for his 5th straight title here which would give him the record for the most consecutive wins in Paris. So basically we can just kiss everyone else goodbye and just hand Nadal the silver salad bowl of doom.... the Ovie of Tennis will dominate and will either be challenged by the More-Adorable-Version-of-Crosby or the Djoker. I'll go on the record with my lame predictions and say we'll see Nadal and Djokovic in the final. Whoo......

And on Wednesday I will see if the More-Arrogant-Version-of-Crosby will win the battle of two football teams I don't like. Yay. FailCrosby better lose because I can NOT stand him. Whooo!

AAAAAAAAAAAND! My city sucks right now. Or at least a certain store near me that allegedly carries sports shirts/jerseys. I went in and first off, all their cool Habs stuff still costs a flipping fortune. Which made me mad because I wanted to buy Habs stuff. So I went to the back of the store where they stuff other teams' stuff. I figured I'd at least look to see if they had any Peach Fuzz shirts that I could at least oggle over.... Well, thanks to all the flipping Peachhawks bandwagoners they only had THESE instead.

Is there no stopping the Crysob from taking over the world? SOMEONE STOP HIM! We'll create a resistance movement. Like John Connors in the last Terminator movie that apparently made no sense. The normal people versus the robot Crysob!

Oh and Keenan was fired as headcoach of the Flames.

I guess there isn't something other than hockey after all....

Crysob has taken over the sports networks

Thursday, May 21, 2009

(click for bigger version)

Crysob being Puffy.... That was a little too fun to draw...(and yes, I just noticed now that I butchered Sid's name up. I have no idea why there are two Ys in it.... Clearly I wasn't thinking).

I would like it to be October so I can actually talk about something interesting.... Yuck... This round of the playoffs isn't cutting it...

Oh and I'm renaming Fleury.

For the longest time Puffles' goalie Marc-Andre Fleury was simply "Fleury" to me. Then when I got into this whole naming spree I called him "MAF". Easy enough. Marc-Andre Fleury = MAF. Except... everyone was calling him MAF. So I added some extra letters and made it "Maffy". Still, I know I had failed when everyone knew exactly who I was talking about. It's not a crazy EP name if everyone knows who it is at first. No way. This made me sad, so I set out to find a new name for him. Among the choices were (thanks to the Tweeps who helped with the names(...

  • Flurry
  • Flurries
  • Snowy
  • Flurfy
  • Mafly
  • Flandre
  • Flambe
  • one that sounded like Furby
  • Toothpick
In keeping with the food theme, I went with Flambe. Yes, pretend there's an accent on the e at the end. I'm lacking a keyboard with such lovely accents. Maffy is now Flambe.

Yeah, I am SO suffering from Habs and Caps withdrawal....


Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Oh yeah... hockey withdrawal produces some more random stick people drawings...This would probably make more sense if you knew that 1) the Peachhawks play Wii before games 2) Captain Peachy was apparently banned from playing because he took it too seriously and 3) Peach Fuzz challenged his sisters to a writing contest - they were supposed to write their names or something. Within seconds he stood up said "I win" and walked away.

And of course Ovie would rock at it. I have no idea if he even plays the thing but if he did, he would be awesome at it.

Rumor of the Day

Hey, crap-rumors season is upon us. So let's have some fun with it. For today's rumor I have this:

The wonderful never pessimistic Montreal Gazette is saying that there was a report in some Russian sports site that Vyacheslav Bykov (you know him as the guy who lead team Russia to two successful crushings of Team Canada at the worlds) and his assistant Igor Zakharian were offered jobs as coaches for the Canadiens...

Say what?!

Yeah, apparently Zakharian said that both he and Bykov were offered the job by the president of the Canadiens but they turned it - and several other offers from different teams in different countries - down for some higher paying job in Russia.

Granted, this is coming from the Gazette which is coming from some Russian site which is coming from Zakharian.... but this is why it's called "Crap rumor season".

At least I can say that Bykov would have had one thing going for him: He speaks French. Apparently he learned it after taking a job in Switzerland a while back. So he'd fit Boivin's "we must have a French speaking coach" criteria. Although, I don't think having a French-speaking Russian was quite what he had in mind.....

A look at how EP's whacko mind works...

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

It's no secret that I have a weird way of liking/picking my teams. I just realized now how weird it is though...

I hated the Flyers to death last year to the point where I latched onto the Puffles and was a full-fledged Puffles fan.

When I officially declared myself a Caps fan, the Caps went down 3-1 to the Rags.

This year, I abandoned the Puffles and backed the Flyers - and Biron - over the Puffles. Biron, of course, decided to fail at making me happy.

I loved the Caps even more when they lost than when they won. Winning was nice - okay, winning was beautiful - but I became a real fan when they lost.

My Caps of the West are the Peachhawks - I almost had the Canucks, but those creepy Twins made me freak out completely so I completely abandoned them. Which is a good thing because they lost anyway. Errr. Anyway, because the Peachawks are losing, I'm loving them. The less Peach Fuzz does, the more I like him. Huh. (So THAT is the magic formula to liking the Peachhawks?!).

As a former Pens fan, I'm still not a fan of Hossa, despite professing respect for the Wings.

I don't completely hate the Bruins if only because I still have visions of Looch crushing Puffy...

So now I have to cheer for Whalercanes who murdered my Habs three years ago so they can crush the Puffles.

Should the Wings crush the Peachhawks, I will fully back the Wings to another Cup and will actually support Hossa scoring the series winning goal over the Puffles.

I somehow almost considered all of this bandwagoning... but it's bandwagoning in reverse.... and if it was true bandwagoning, I'd be in love with Puffy and the Pens. EW. So I guess this is bandwagoning in reverse. Whoopie. Or maybe this is just proof that I hate the Penguins

Hmm.... okay, you can all skip this totally random post... =p

On broken Caps, broken Bruins, Coyotes and Peachiness

The Department for Broken NHL Players just got a lot fuller

Well, not "just"....I'm totally late on the whole injury thing with the Caps, but wow... they were pretty broken by the time they faced the Pens. Not using that as an excuse but more as a bit of an explanation for some of the things that went on. Ovie had groin and wrist injuries apparently, Green had a shoulder thing, Erskine and Poti had broken feet, Morrisonn had some ankle injury, Schultz had a broken rib and didn't even make it to the Pens series. And....Semin had a injured thumb.

Thanks to Itty Bitty, we all know what a groin injury can do to you. Obviously you need feet and ankles to skate. And Green's shoulder could at least explain why he didn't want to check anyone and why a lot of his shots looked about as lethal as a 10 year-olds (don't worry Green, I still love you and your ridiculously weird/semi-cool hair cut). In Semin's case.... I don't know. I mean... I know from watching tennis that fairly minor thumb injury can severely affect the way you play (hello Ana Ivanovic). I mean, maybe this could explain his seemingly inability to pass the puck to his own team? I'll give him the benefit of the doubt here.

As for the Bruins... Wows. They were pretty broken up too. Not that I'm totally sympathetic here because they still beat my Habs. But still. Kreiji and Kessel are going to undergo pretty extensive surgery which could keep them out for months (hmm, I wouldn't mind not seeing Kessel again for a little bit). And then other Bs were injured too (forgot who). No, Chara and the Loochness Monster are both very much in one piece *pouts*

Edit: Oh here's some of the actual Bs who were injured (from Hailey at the Puck Stops Here):

Recchi: kidney stones
Ference: hernia/groin
Kobasew: played with some broken ribs
Savard: sprained knee
LOOOCH: bruised toe (is that kinda like Semin's thumb injury though?)
Chara: some groin thing

And uh.... Hunwick... *coughs*

And speaking of broken Itty Bitty... apparently it needs eye surgery now. Oh so THAT is why he couldn't score! He couldn't see the puck.....got it..... please don't point out that Itty Bitty actually did manage to score. We're chalking it up to a flukey accident.

The ruling on who owns the Coyotes is coming sometime today

I'm of the opinion that the judge will discover that I'm actually the real owner of the team. Yup. And then I'll move the team to some undisclosed place and name Dwatson783 the GM and we'll kidnap Looch, Peach Fuzz and Ovie. And then we're going to call the team the "Puffy Killers". Bwahahaha.

In semi-seriousness, I'm actually expecting the ruling to be in the NHL's favor. Which is a pity really....

Feel the Peachiness!

Please tell me I'm not the only one who is having (too) much fun with the Peach Hawks? Peach Fuzz is so much fun to say. Beats Puffy the Penguin any day. And you can Peachify just about anything. Except for Toews.... he seems... unpeachable... I mean.... Captain Peachy? I don't think so.....He'll have to settle with just being Toews. For now, until I can think of something for him. In the mean time....The Peach Hawks are coming to get you, Wingsies!

Hey Peach Fuzz

Monday, May 18, 2009

I dare you to make me go "I guess I'll live without Ovie until October". I bet you can't do it. They may say that you'll "step up your peach-game" tomorrow but I won't believe it until I see it. Prove me wrong, Peach Fuzz. Go on. I dare you.




and he better "raise his peach-game" tomorrow because this so-called "conference final" tonight was LAME. LAME. No intensity. No crowd noise and no Whalercanes that I could see. Bah. This was SO not a conference final. This was like... I dunno... the Memorial Cup game was better (made all the more nice by the fact that the the Drummondville Whatsits lost. HAHAH). I mean... the Pens corner of the twitterverse was quiet even! I would SO not be yawning if the Bruins and the Capitals were in the finals. Ugh. Hockey hour has never been so boring before. Well, not since the Devils were still in the playoffs anyway.


C'mon Peach Fuzz. Bring the the Peachiness tomorrow tonight!

Breaking news!

Did you know that Eric and Jordan Staal are related? In fact, they're actually brothers?

You did know that?

I hate you.

I mean, like, how could they be brothers? Sure, they look marginally alike but that doens't mean that they're siblings. And sure they have the same last name but that doesn't mean anythning either. Look at Saku and Mikko Koivu..... Jeez. Next thing you know, they'll be saying that Henrik and Daniel Sedin are twins or something... 




Is it obvious that I'm getting tired of these Staalclones?Personally, I think this is what the they should all be doing:

Peach Fuzz wins me over

Sunday, May 17, 2009

But first I have one thing to say......

Oh my god. Roger Federer just beat Rafael Nadal. On clay. In Madrid. What. The. Hell.

For those of you who don't know.... the More-Adorable-Version-of-Crosby never beats the Ovie of tennis on clay courts. Never. Except for that one time in Hamburg a couple of years ago. The Ovie of tennis has an amazingly wickedly sick record on clay (try three loses in four years). He doesn't lose on clay. And he doesn't lose at home in Spain. Hell, the MAVC has not beaten the Ovie since.... well, it's been a while, let's put it that way. So yes. WAY TO GO ROGER! Yes, Djokovic probably did half the work for you by pooping out Nadal, but yeah. You won and deserved it. Congrats Roger =) For today, you are the hero for downing the Clay Monster. Way to go.

Now back to hockey...

So the Hawks lost in what looked too much like the very first time I saw Detroit play. You know, the first game of the Stanley Cup finals last year... where they blanked the Puffles? While the Wings didn't blank the Hawks, it was one of those games where you go "do they really have to play that well?" It was a statement game by the Wings. They're reminding the Hawks just who's boss. If it wasn't for Crabby Khabby then it would have probably been 10-2 for the Wings. Not kidding here. The Wings completely dominated the game and looked freakishly scary doing it. You just had to sit there and go ".....oh dear.....if they played like this maybe they could repeat?"

In the strange mind of EP that means that she's going for the Hawks now.

So Peach Fuzz Kane didn't do anything that I noticed. In fact I spent most of the game looking around for him.

But I think I like this team. I think. I think me saying "Peach Fuzz" all day today was what made me like them. I mean, how can you not like a guy who's called "Peach Fuzz"? Granted nobody but me knows who Peach Fuzz is but who cares? People are only now starting to get who Puffy and Eggplant are. And I'm not even sure about Eggplant. But still... It was so refreshingly nice to see someone's face other than Puffy's that I just had to go and be a fan. Especially when said face has peach fuzz instead of a crap excuse for a "beard". Yes, peach fuzz wins over the ugly "wannabeard" that Puffy has. Anybody but the Puffy! Please. For the love of hockey. Anybody but the Puffy.

Okay. I'm clearly beyond tired now because sane and awake people don't pick teams based on their playoff beards, right? right. Or that's just my very immature side coming out again. But yeah. Peach Fuzz Kane for the Cup, baby!

One day I will learn not to write up these things when I'm half asleep....

Note: from here on end, Peach Fuzz will refer only to Patrick Kane and not the entire Blackhawks team.

Gary Bettman writes a book about hockey

First off, this was completely knocked off/inspired by Scott Feschuk's version of Stephen Harper's elusive hockey book which appeared in Macleans Magazine (I can't seem to find it online but it's absolutely hilarious. Best part? "I love cheering for my side, trash-talking others and rejecting the possibility that any point of view other than my own can posses even trace elements of merit. You can also apply this philosophy to hockey, I guess" ). So. Anyway....I figured while I was waiting for Nadal to show me that he's still no. 1 in the world, I'd write up a book for Gary Bettman. I mean c'mon, if some guy like Dany Heatley can publish an autobiography, then King Gary can write a book on hockey.

We'll call it "Hockey as seen through the eyes of Commish Gary".

Chapter One: The Lost History of Hockey

First off, what is hockey? To quote the highly esteemed Mr. Wiki Pedia, "ice hockey (frequently simply called hockey) is a team sport played on ice". According to some people, the sport was invented in Canada, but I have sources that suggest that the sport originated in the Arizona-Texas area. How the sport came to Canada is a long and complicated story - too long to explain to my ghost writer right now in this book. But in short, it involved a man named Bob Balsillie who saw the sport and loved it so much that he took it and brought it back to Canada with him. When he became king of Canada, he made the sport the official sport of Canada and then sent his forces out to demolish the people of Arizona-Texas. Right as the king's forces reached the doorstep of the kingdom of Arizona-Texas, he offered the people a choice: Face demolition or erase all mention of hockey. The people chose the latter and that, dear readers, is why there is no mention of hockey in Arizona-Texas.

Chapter Two: How I ended up with this job

Well, I started off as just some lawyer. Then I got into basketball because well, as a kid, I used to participate in it a lot (I was one who handed out the towels to the players). Somehow I ended up as the third highest in command which was neat all, but I wasn't particularly happy being only the third highest. I mean, third? So when I was offered a job to be the president of the NHL my first reaction was "what the hell is the NHL?" and then it was "yeah, sure, I'll take it." As soon as I ended up as head of the NHL I had the job description changed to "Commissioner" instead of "President" because being a "Commissioner" sounds better.

Chapter Three: On Being the Commish

It's great. Who wouldn't want to wake up every morning knowing that you are the supreme ruler of a major sport? Anything you say, can go. It's the most amazing thing ever. Quite honestly I have secret designs to become the supreme ruler of the poker universe too. But don't tell my brother that. But moving on, of course it's tough to be the Supreme Ruler of the NHL Commissioner. You have to make all kinda of tough decisions, like, going around the league to different events, handing out the Stanley Cup, hiring competent people to take care of important stuff such as buying my suits. It's very tough.

Chapter four: On being a fan

Yes, I am a big fan of basketball.

Chapter Five My favorite team

One of the most frequent questions I'm asked is "what is your favorite team?" To which I reply that I don't have a favorite team. As Commish of the NHL, I don't believe it would be a good idea to have a favorite team because some people would invariably accuse me of favoritism. Although if I had a favorite team, it would be a certain team in black and gold (no, not the one in Boston) because they're just so awesome. Plus they play in the United States. PLUS they somehow manage to fill their building. Isn't that amazing? But like I said, I don't pick favorite teams. This is all in the hypothetical.

Chapter Six My favorite player

Again, I don't pick favorites, but if I had to pick one, it'd be Sidney Crosby. Who doesn't like Sidney Crosby? Did you know that they call him the Anointed One? But really. I don't pick favorites. Even if he could save the Pittsburgh Penguins, the league and the fate of hockey altogether.

Chapter Seven: On putting more teams in Canada

Where's Canada?

Chapter Eight: On the recession and how that affects the teams in smaller markets

What recession? There is no recession. There is nothing wrong with the NHL or the teams.

Chapter Nine: On concussions

Did you know that "most concussions occur during player to player contact rather than when a player is checked into a wall"? Isn't that awful? Could you imagine letting your child witness someone getting a concussion after they're hit by another player? They should really work to cut down on shots to the head!

Chapter Ten: On fighting

Fighting is bad. I would never let my children watch a sport in which a pile of people beat each other up for no reason. That's just barbaric. That being said, the NHL sees no reason to change their policies regarding fighting in the league.

Chapters eleven through twenty-five: 600 pages of blank pages

Random info day!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Just in case you were thinking I has gone sane...

First off...
EP learns exactly what baseball is about on Twitter

EP: How can anybody watch baseball? I don't get it...

Saucerpass: You don't really watch baseball. it's more like: you socialize with people while baseball is happening in the background

Sarah_Connors: you're supposed to WATCH baseball?

EP: I guess not? So what do you do then?

Saucerpass: when you go to a game, you're not supposed to watch it. you're supposed to focus on your $30 hot dog, $50 beer and your sunburn

Sarah_Connors: beer, bbq, talking with friends, more beer, uhhh.... really everything BUT watch the game. XD

EP: Why would they put baseball on TV then?

Saucerpass: so you can clean and do other things around the house and have it on as background noise.

EP: But what about when baseball hijacks hockey hour?

Saucerpass: touche salesman...i guess that's why we have the outdoor life netw.....errrr....versus.

Second of all... An explanation of the Nadal/Djokovic match for the hockey fans:

Nadal is the Ovie of hockey. Although thank goodness Ovie doesn't wear ugly striped shirts like Nadal has been wearing.

Djokovic is.... Djokovic would be the Semin of hockey. Entertaining by accident.

Federer is the Less-Whiney-Way-More-Adorable version of Crosby in the tennis world. Talented but getting forgotten in the Ovie hype.

Murray is Toews. But he's out. But I had to say that anyway.

Shockingly enough, the Semin of tennis beats the Ovie of tennis in the first of three sets. The Ovie does not look pleased. Actually, unlike the Ovie, Nadal pouts a bit. He puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head at the court. Anyway, the Ovie decides tha as the World No. 1 that he is, he better start playing better (you see, should he win, he could play the Less-Whiney-More-Adorable-Crosby of the tennis world). So after slugging it out, he downs the Semin of the tennis world in the second set. Third and deciding set. After some great and not so great tennis, it goes to a tie breaker. A third set tie-breaker is like OT. You have to go to 7 and win by two. So you can win 7-1, 7-4, 7-5. But if it's 7-6 you have to keep going. After plenty of amazing shots and plays, the Ovie wins 11-9 (that's like.... double or triple OT). He will now meet the Lovable-Version-Of-Crosby.

AND the official objective view on the Ovie vs Puffy debate is...

I have a friend who lives in Argentina. She knows nothing about hockey. She had never heard of Ovie or Puffy. I showed her a couple of pictures of both of them and gave a brief explanation of both of them in a rather objective format. And... she said she liked Ovie better. HAH! The objective Argentine says that Ovie is better. HAHA.

Don't bother questioning the objectiveness of that. I won't listen *g*

I don't get it....

Friday, May 15, 2009

As a Habs fan I admit I was angry at the Bruins season. I was angry that they had the dream season while my team decided it wanted to try being the Leafs for a year. I was angry that we had to play them in the playoffs - in the first round too. And I was angry that we got swept by them. We couldn't have been swept by say, the Penguins. No. It had to be the same Bruins team that we decimated only last year in the very same round. I was angry at the fans in Boston, knowing that each one of them was delighted beyond belief at the change in fortunes of the two teams. When the Bruins appeared to be struggling against the Hurricanes, I was pleased. I wanted to see them go down. I wanted to see them ousted from the playoffs. I wanted to see them pay for everything that they had done to my Habs.

When the Bruins were finally ousted last night, I swear every Habs fan was singing "Ha Ha You're Dead" by Green Day (it's a very catchy song if you want to know). The tweets coming in from the Habs fan were filled with "whooo"ing and "HELL YEAH". You could almost hear the sigh of relief around the city as the Habs fan all exhaled when the puck crossed the goal line.

And yet, I was sitting at my desk staring blankly at my computer screen, reading the tweets coming in from the shocked Bruins fans. I didn't see Walker's goal live but I could easily imagine the silence that fell at the Garden when the puck went into the back of the net.

I don't get it.

Despite some new-found love for some awesome Bruins fans, I could have easily been pleased at the misfortune of the team itself. As a Habs fan, I could have been pleased with the demise of the hated Bruins without being obnoxious. It could have been done. Privately, I could have been running around my house screaming at the Bruins untimely demise while not tweeting a word of it to the Bruins fans. And besides, the Bruins fans wouldn't mind. They were certainly excited to see their team beat my team, so I'm sure they would have accepted a little pleasure on my part. But either way, as a Habs fan, I could have - should have - been beyond pleased. And yet I wasn't.

I don't get it.

Seeing the Bruins lose was supposed to be the greatest moment short of the Habs or the Capitals winning the Stanley Cup. Seeing the team that had inflicted so much pain over the season and brought my Habs' post season to a very brief end in under a week, booted out in a rather unceremonious fashion was supposed be great. Seeing a look of what must have been shock and disappointment on Claude Julien's face was supposed to be bring a smile to my face. Seeing Thomas bolt from the net was supposed to make me jump around with joy. Hearing the dead silent arena filled with all those fans who had mocked my Habs in the previous round was supposed to be the best thing I had ever heard.

But it wasn't.

Sure it was a little nice to see the Bruins out, but it wasn't the greatest thing in my hockey life this season. I didn't feel the rush of exhiliration that comes with seeing my teams win a series or a game. Is it nice to know that they won't be lifting the Stanley Cup this year? Maybe. But my teams aren't coming back with it either.

I don't know. Maybe I'm still in shock or something. Or maybe I'm really not that bitter. Or maybe knowing that the Cup could very well be going back to Boston before it comes to Montreal is what's keeping me from being excited with this Bs loss. This Bruins team is good. Chances are, Boston will be raising that Cup years before Montreal gets anywhere near it. And that- despite me being all nice to people from Boston- is not a pleasant thought in the least for me.

Either way, when the Bruins meet my Habs next year, you can bet I won't be cheering for the bear, so don't worry. I may not be celebrating their loss now but I will be when my Habs get back to beating them. Bwahaha...

Peach Fuzz vs Way Too Much Fuzz

I'm going for the roof in the eastern conference so now I ask.... Wings or Hawks in the west? To help me decide I've compiled a list of pros and cons for each.

Pros to cheering for the Hawks:
  • Captain Sideburns Toews
  • Cabbage Patch Kid Kane
  • Byfuglien (pronounced "BUFFlin")
  • Versteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeg
  • Havlat is not a Sens anymore
  • Any by extension of the last one... anyone who is not a Sen anymore is a good person. Unless they're a Leaf, a Bruin, a Duck or a Shark, or a Penguin.
  • Burish has big hair
  • Lots of Canadians on the team
  • Made Luongo cry
  • Beat the Crapnucks
  • If the Hawks win, the Leafs will have the longest Stanley Cup drought.
  • Toews and Kane can possibly cure my Post-Ovechkin-Syndrome.
Cons to cheering for the Hawks
  • Toews irks me
  • Kane irks me
  • Seeing Byfuglien's name and trying to figure out how it's pronounce "BUFFlin" irks me
  • Crabby Khabby isn't Maffy.... or Simmy... or Pricey.... or Jaro....He's Crabby Khabby. He irks me.
  • Their logo irks me.
  • their white jerseys blend in with the ice more than anybody else's do for some reason... that irks me.
  • peach fuzz "beards" irk me (blame Puffy No Beard for that)

Pros for cheering for the Wings
  • I respect the heck out of them
  • I've spent the better part of the season defending them and as such I feel obligated to continue to cheer for them
  • They dont' irk me
  • I don't particularly fancy the idea of the Western Conference's Puffy and Malkin getting a Stanley Cup so that means I go with the defending champs
  • I like calling Datsyuk a Turnip *g* there's a new one to put in the dictionary!
  • Another Cup for the Wingsies will put them ahead of the Leafs. Or something. Reminding the Leafs of their awfulness is a good thing.

Cons for cheering for the Wings
  • They don't particularly excite me. Post-Ovechkin-Syndrome calls for exciting goal scorers, please. Yes, you get the job done. Yes, you make it look scary with the precision in which you've scored some of your goals but it's not Ovie-cool.....
  • Despite defending him for the last few months, Hossa stills irks me as a former Pen fan...
  • Osgood gives me Halak-attacks. Actually, it's worse than a Halak-attack...
  • While I admit that the Wings do have good playoff beards, I can't stand playoff beards to be honest and all the fuzz irks me. Then again.... peach fuzz a la Crosby and Kane irks me too....How about we just ditch the playoff beard altogether? I am sure that is the one and only thing that the Anointed One and I will ever agree on.
  • Does Detroit really need another Stanley Cup?

So. That is totally not helpeful..... Peach Fuzz vs Too Much Fuzz....

Guess it's bandwagon time!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Well, it was officially bandwagon time as of last night actually. And it's fun. I love this. For now. Until I pick a team that I want to win..... then it won't be fun....

I went from cheering for the Bruins to cheering for the Whalercanes, back to cheering for the Bruins then back to cheering for the roof to cave in. At the end of the night, I decided to go to sleep, figuring I'd wake up tomorrow and see who one.. Only... I left tweetdeck open on my comp in my room and.. lo and behold, I saw a Whalercanes victory when I came upstairs. Oopsies...... That's not how it was supposed to work. Not only will I not get to see Looch suspended for life for taking out Puffy for good, but now I have to see TWO Staalclones? No way. NO WAY. I've been completely robbed of a Looching. And a Looching of the Pens is a good thing. BAH. I swear if someone is fixing this stupid playoffs, I'm going to waterbottle them.

Then again... my Habs hockey soul was just saved from having to cheer for the Bruins...

But still. I wanted a Looching *pouts*

Obviously I don't support a Whalercanes/Puffles series either so I'm off to the Western Conference. I've been rooting for the Wings now, but I swear if I could just figure out the magic formula for liking Kane and Toews, I'd do it. I like exciting hockey. The Wings, I'll be honest, don't make me excited. I respect the hell out of the Wings and I think they're great, but I'm going through Post-Ovechkin-Syndrome right now... And besides... Semin technically endorses Kane and Toews, right? *G*

The ONE and only plus to a Whalercanes/Puffles series is the StaalClone drinking games. Not that I drink (even the best of them would be out in 5 mins anyway). And I don't think I could stomach a full series of StaalClones. Especially not THESE two Staal clones. These two have to be the worst. I wonder if it's a coincidence that these two look a like? Really. 1 and 3 look a lot alike and 2 and 3 look a lot alike. Really! But whatever....

If you are a Hawks or Wings fan, feel free to try to win me over. If you're Whalercanes or Puffles fan... well.... you can try to persuade me but it won't work. Even if Maffy is the most likable goalie left...

And on a more serious note.... Bs fans.... I'm honestly sorry for you guys. Your team had a great year (mainly at my expense, I'll be honest *g*). It's scary to think that they'll come back just as strong, if not stronger, next year. You've been fantastic and it's been a... well.... after my team went out and I got over it, it's been a pleasure chatting on Twitter with you all *g* Almost looking forward to seeing the Bs and the Habs next year...! In the words of Boston's really annoying PA guy: WHOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooOOOOOOoo

Hello PK Subban

(yeah, I totally stole this from Number31 who completely beat me to this. But anyway, doesn't this pose remind you of a certain lovable Russian for the Caps?).

Hey, some good news for once!

How would you like to celebrate your birthday by signing a three year entry level contract with your favorite NHL team? Needless to say, I'm insanely jealous and pleased about this (jealous because that is just too cool of a birthday present).

Yup. PK Subban just signed a three year contract with the Canadiens.

I have no idea what his development as a player has been at all so don't go ruining my day by coming in here and telling me he can't actually play defense. I just know that he's got a pile of character which this Habs team doesn't have right now (no, Price, your little justified fit doesn't count. Sorry), he was insanely fun to watch a the WJC last year. And he's a human quote machine.


If there's one thing I wish the Habs could take from the Caps, it's a player with character (ie, Ovie *g*). We're sorely lacking that and it'd be totally refreshing to see someone who doesn't look like Atlas carrying the whole damn world on his shoulders.

If I don't see you as a Hab next fall then I'll be seeing you as a Hammie... assuming the Hammies are still the Hammies............let's not think about that one for a while..... WHOOO FOR PK SUBBAN!

Real mix of emotions here....

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

First of all, this was not the way to go. This really wasn't. It was a... how to put it? A Habs-esque ending. This series deserved better. The Caps deserved better. The fans deserved better.

But guess what?

I think I love the Caps even more than I did before. They're a fantastic team. With some tweaking they can be even better (how about SOME D, eh?). They need to take this experience and come back a better team in the fall. Ovie was very classy at the end with dishing out hugs for the Pens (none for Sid though. I was rooting for him to punch him out if you weren't wondering what I was thinking). And actually, I was incredibly surprised to see the Verizon Center crowd cheering their team on in the last 2 mins. That Montreal, is how you support your team. I hope you were watching that. Because THAT is how you treat your team.

So thanks Caps. I know this wasn't how it was supposed to end, but you'll be stronger for it in the end. Promise. The Stanley Cup is coming to Washington and Ovie's going to be there going insane. Just you wait =)


I didn't see much of you this year during the season, but you can bet you'll be fighting for time with my Habs in the fall =)

And now... I think I'm going to do something I'm going to regret but I have no choice really....

G-g-g-o B......b.......r.........brooo..............................in.......s.........?

I'm sorry. This is purely bandwagon stuff here. But if those Penguins are to go down then really the only team capable of that in the east are the Bruins. I'd like nothing more than to see Lucic get suspended for life after taking out Crosby for good....That would be awesome. Of course the Bs will then lose to the Wings.... or... maybe the Hawks..... maybeh....

Yeah, I realize I'm being immature here. Everyone should be allowed to have their immature moments though, right? C'mon... I have way less moments than the Puffy does.... and he's older than I am *gasp*

I might change my mind in the morning after I've recovered from this.... We'll see....

psst.... Jaro...Happy birthday!

I didn't even know it was Halak's birthday today. I feel kinda bad for not looking. Kinda. I don't want to look like a stalker or anything. Even if it says what it is on his profile... which I've never actually looked at... WHATEVER.


I know you'll never see this and you're probably doing something interesting in Europe somewhere but yeah. It's the thought that counts, right? Right.

Yay for little Slovak goalies!

Game 7

I detest Game 7s. It's like OT. Everything is on the line. There is no "well, if I lose, I could still have a chance next time". No. It's do or go home. Game 7 is where you bring everything you've got. Needless to say, it's very unpleasant to be the loser of a game 7. Knowing that you were that close and yet ultimately you fall short. Not that I've ever been on the losing end of a game 7 actually.... I've only sat through one with my team and my Habbies blanked the Bruins in that one (I can still see that 4th or 5th goal slide right past Marshmallow....)

But now I have to suffer through not 1, not 2 but 3 game 7s. How's that for some insane bad luck?

The Bs remembered that they are the Bs who finished second overall and started demolishing the Whalercanes. The fact that I had the Bruins winning this in 6 with the Whalercanes forcing the extra games, doesn't really make me feel any better with the probable Bruins victory.

The Dumb Ducks also won a few bad bounces/lucky breaks. When I say dumb, I do mean it as they took two too many Ducks on the ice penalties. Obviously counting it not their forte. I also laugh every time I hear the words "Ducks" and "fight". I mean, yeah, it's all the DUCKS know how to do, but really... I've never seen a real duck fight. A goose, yeah. They're nasty. But a duck? No way. It should be an interesting final because I think the Wings will remember who`s the boss here and will at least try to put up a better effort back home.

Anyway, everyone else can drop of the face of the earth right now (except for the Wings) because all that matters right now is what's going to happen in less than 10 hours at the Verizon Center.

I'm pretty nervous about this one. I don't think anybody really doubted that this series would go the distance. That this series has actually lived up to the hype and gone beyond in some cases, is pretty unbelievable. It's been a very wild ride so far and I hope for the Caps it continues into the next round. I'm not offering up any advice or anything on this one.

You know which team I want to win. You know I'll be sitting there screaming in a Habs shirt because rocking the red in a Habs shirt is lucky. And you know that, no matter what the outcome is, I'll still be planning my trip to Washington next year to see them live =)

Edit: Oh Bruins fans, you are so nice to me! (no sarcasm meant this time! *g*) Dwatson783 got me to listen to "The Pretender" by the Foo Fighters. I've never heard it before but man, I am listening to this all day. We're calling this Ovie's pre-game song with a certain Puffle in mind =)

Nobody ever said I was the most... sane fan out there...


Hey, maybe there is something to the Anointed One

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

We all know that in game three, Gonchar went out with a serious injury when Ovie collided with him, right? The Pens fans were screaming to have Ovie suspended for life for a deliberate attempt at death by kneeing. Gonchar's injuries were apparently severe enough that he would be out for the rest of the playoffs (assuming that the Penguins were to make it past the Capitals).

Well, guess what? Today we have reports that Gonchar was seen practicing on the ice with the team.

This is amazing when we consider that he was supposed to be at death's door after that attempt to finish his career by Ovie. I have no idea how he made such a miraculous recovery other than to surmise that it must have been the work of the Anointed One. We doubted his abilities but today, people, we have proof that the Anointed One can cure his teammates.

Actually, apparently his magic curing abilities aren't just limited to his own team. Remember Scott Walker's smashing of Aaron Ward's face? Ward was supposed to be a goner too. But now we have reports that he too will be back on the ice tonight for the dratted Bs. Hallelujah!

All hail the Anointed One and his magic curing abilities. We were wrong to doubt you.


Monday, May 11, 2009

(group hug!)


Excuse me while I go collapse now after that very intense game.





Okay. I'm back.

David Steckel tipped the puck in, and for once the deflection went into the back of the opposing team's net. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! (sorry Maffy....)

The Caps didn't look like they wanted it at the beginning though. The Pens dominated and were rewarded with a... either Puffy goal and a Puffy assisted goal. Whatever. It was two on one and Simmy had no chance. And that was it for the period. Shots on goal were apparently 18-4 which sort of reflected the Penguins total attempt at decimation.

Second period was... I'm trying to remember... We had a Kozzy goal - which reminded me of Andrei's awesome rocket shots (*sniffles* Andrei.....come back soon.....), a Flash goal after A2 got tripped up and *le gasp* they actually called a penalty. But it wasn't needed and A2 set up Ovie (or somebody) who attempted to score but Flash put it in past a sprawling Maffy. Of course the Puffles got a power play at the end of the period and scored on it. Meh. Still, we went into the third tied 2-2.

And then it got scary.

Between the 4:40 and 6:07 mark we had three goals. First from some Puffle - I thnk it was The Vampire - and then we had an A2 goal (FINALLY!!!!!!!) which I think actually went off of Laich (pffft). And THEN we had another goal from Kozzy. Because Gill sort of obstructed his own goalie. Hm...

And then with less than five mins left... guess who ties up the game? Puffy! *pukes*
AND THEN! We had a Puffles powerplay with TWO minutes to go. Heart-attack time.

Plenty of close calls but NO GOALS.


I thought the Caps really pressed hard in OT but of course it was the Pens who looked like they would have the break. I freaked out every time one came near the Simmy. And...and...and...THEN! Some Puffle shoots the puck and it rings off the post. OFF THE POST! Finally a lucky bounce in favor of the Caps! AH!!!!!!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand...... Steckel who got sent to the box at the end of the third period finally tipped in Laich's shot past Maffy. GAME OVER. See you Wednesday.

Of course this isn't over. Not by a long shot. We have 60 mins or more left until we know who will make the next round.

But for tonight, we will celebrate this win. Tonight, we will think about all the things that went right. We will remember that as the truly delusional fans that we are, we ignored the "experts" saying that the Penguins had the advantage and we never stopped believing that the Caps could send it back home for a game 7.

Well... their home. Unless they want to take over the Bell Center. I bet our ice would be better than crap at the Igloo. For an igloo with Penguins in it, the ice was crappy.

To quote that really annoying PA guy in Boston: WhoooooooOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!!!!!!


Useless info: With all kinds of puffy flowers poofing my sinuses have been bugging me so I was pretty low key about the game (until that wild third period). It didn't help that I was feeling great until the game started and Puffy came on the TV. I think I'm allergic to him.....

And... is it just me or does the that Win a Honda commercial use the Bruins goalhorn? You know... the commercial where the car pulls up into the garage and the goal thingy goes off.

By the way... The Hawks just finished off the Canucks. Now, as much as I'd like the Wings to win, could you imagine a final with the Caps and the Hawks? I may hate Kane and Toews but Semin does have a point about them. They can score and they can score awesome goals. Imagine... Ovie vs Kane.... Ovie would crush Kane of course.... =) It'd be battle of the showboats *g* (not that I necessarily think Ovie is a showboat.... *coughs*)


Now you've done it Colin

You've enraged the Bruins fans.

You thought you could only anger the Habs and the Caps fans by dishing out lame and unfair suspensions, eh? (and I suppose the Canucks fans were a little ticked off when you didn't suspend Ben Eager for his hit on Rick Rypien in the playoffs).

Well, you failed.


Walker punches out Ward (the Bruins D-guy) and what do you do? Nada! Oh no. Ward was just standing there and Walker punches him for no reason (fine. So Walker claims that he was anticipating a fight. Wow. Right now, I'm anticipating blood flowing in Raleigh tomorrow). And Colin, this would have been a great time to show that you're not as inept as people have been claiming all playoffs long. But nooooo, you just want me to change your name to "Colin the Inept", eh? Well, I think you just may have done it now.

I'm sitting here loving every moment of this actually - in a pathetic, angry, sort of way. This whole playoffs has just proved to me, how inconsistent you have been in suspending players. It's pretty ridiculous really.

At least I know that you're not just biased against the Habs. You're just totally inept. That makes me feel slightly better. Sorta. Although if Komisarek had punched Ward like Walker had punched Ward, then he'd be suspended for life. As it is, you fined Walker a few thousands dollars and enraged the Bruins fans. Yeah, all three or four of them.

Great job, Colin.

Here we go again....

Sunday, May 10, 2009

This series is starting to drive me up the wall. Why the hell did the Caps have to draw the Pens?

I do not like Crosby. If you like Crosby, great.

I am not anti-Canadian because I don't like him.

Yes, I feel bad that Crosby has been handled, hounded and manufactured since he could skate.

Yes, I believe he is a very talented player.

Yes, I think he has been over-hyped and he has been shoved down my throat here.

No, I am NOT a bandwagon Caps fan.

No, I don't just watch the Caps because I like Ovie. I like a lot of the other players on that team.

No, I do not like Ovie because I hate Crosby. I like Ovie because he's Ovie. And I dislike Crosby because he irks me.

Crosby and Ovie are mentioned too much in the same sentence. One has zippo to do with the other despite what the media says.

YES, I am getting tired of this Sid vs Ovie crap.

YES, I hate the media. More than before.

No, I don't appreciate intolorant and narrow minded people. Sports shouldn't be political or nationalistic and no matter how much you hate a team, you shouldn't go off and be a troll towards other fans.

Basically, I'm getting real tired of having to justify who I cheer for and why. Leave me alone, damnit. It's a free country. YES, it's again hitting me that les boys won't be back on the ice for another FOUR months and it's making me sad and grumpy. I want MY boys back so I can cheer and whine and talk about them, while quietly routing for the Caps.

BRING BACK MY HABS! (and leave the media and the trolls in Greenland, please)

Not done yet

The Caps aren't out of this yet.

Despite what I have to call a heart-breaking loss last night in OT, the Caps aren't out of this yet. They came back from a bigger deficit against the Rangers. Granted this Pens team is better. Way better. But the Caps only need to win one game to send it back home to Washington for a game seven. One game. Sixty minutes or more if needed. That's all we need to think about it. We don't need to think about "oh god, we're down 3-2 and the Penguins can win it at home tomorrow." No. We need to think "we only need to win this game to force a game 7. And then we'll think about that when it happens."

The second we think we're out of this then we are out. I believe the Habs thought this way after game 3 of the Bruins series. I think the series effectively ended with that loss in game 3. Not in game 4.

The Caps can do this. History and all those stats crap that the TV keeps spewing out will mean nothing tomorrow. We don't care if Ovechkin had five hits in the last game. We don't care if Crosby had 22 minutes of ice time in game three. None of that matters now. Game 6 will be a new game. Anything can happen in 60 minutes. The Caps have what it takes to win this game and this series. They need to make it happen and hope that luck or karma will be on their side.


Haven't forgotten the Habbies

Saturday, May 9, 2009

So I'm sitting here in a Caps shirt about to write up a post about what the Caps need to do to win tonight, when I remembered that this is supposed to be about the Habs. Not that I can't like the Caps too, but it's been surprisingly easy to forget about the Habs lately. The babble and obsession has died down, the minimal support in the form of flags, shirts and whatever, have mostly disappeared, the bandwagoners have crawled back into their little holes.... It's almost like we're ashamed to be a fan of our team because of how poorly they did in the post-season. While that's not my case right now, I've gone off and put my full support behind my second team. It's been Caps, Caps, Caps none stop now.

I felt kind of bad about that so to assauged said guilty, I went off to browse the Canadiens official site for no reason. Throughout the season I've been ignoring the "play off the week" thing on the Canadiens official site but last night I took a peek at the "plays of the year" thingy that you can vote for. Despite being in the middle of a Caps game, I looked at them all. As someone who actually saw all those plays either on TV or live (two of them were from the two games I saw live) - it really brought back a lot of the highs from this season.

Some of my favorites were... Lang deking out StaalClone3 en route to his second of three goals that night... Lapierre's cool shootout winner against the Sens (because I was sitting at the other end of the rink screaming at him to put it past Elliot so I could gloat about the Sens losing)...Sergei's last second goal against the Caps that sealed a win for us (because that game was freaking exciting. Forget Ovie vs Puffy).... any and all Priceberg saves (particularly the one on Ovie. If there is one thing I love more than an Ovie goal, it's my Priceberg robbing Ovie of a goal. Sorry Ovie). Okay so I liked them all.... =p The point is, while it's so easy to think that the year was such a huge bust, when I looked at those highlights, I remembered why I got excited about the team. I remembered why I loved them so much.

Sorry if this sounds sappy. I guess while it's great to back the Caps, they still aren't really *my* team and I'm missing my team a lot.

Hey wait... I thought the Habs/Bruins series was over?!

Friday, May 8, 2009

As a Habs fan, I can sadly say that I saw this movie before. It's called "Why the heck are we imploding like this?". I swear the Habs/Bruins were out on the ice at Mellon Arena tonight. Guess who the Habs were.

Oh yeah.

I couldn't believe it.

It was just like the Habs/Bruins series. The great goalie gets zero support from his team and they go down to the big bad team in black and gold. The great forwards can't seem to find the back of the net. The defense was dead. The powerplay was dead. The fans were obnoxious. The opposition was intorable. I swear the PA guy even did a little "whooOOOoooo".
At least the Caps actually scored more than two goals. They had three. Including a shorty. But then they forgot how to help out their goalie andhe couldn't save them tonight.
What does this mean?

Do we panic? Is it the end for the Caps? Do we freak out completely now because the Pens look just that good now and the Caps look just that bad?
Well, unlike the Habs against the Bruins, I believe the Caps are more than capable of taking out the Pens. They need to stay focused, they need to stay out of the penalty box, they need to play better defense, they need to back up their goalie and they need to remember that a game is 60 bloody minutes long. I really dont' think that's too hard to implent really. The Caps have what it takes to win. They aren't an inferior team to the Penguins. But the Penguins have been playing like a team and battling harder for longer throughout the games than the Caps have. The Caps must match that. Tonight, they looked dead on their feet. Tomorrow, back home in front of their amazing fans, they need to bring it. They need to bring that crazy Ovie intensity. All of them.
The fact that both teams are the only ones to have one their home games so far (waiting on the Whalercanes game tonight), seems to indicate that home ice advantage seems uber important. They must take advantage tomorrow tonight. Both teams will be tired from tonight but the Caps need to take the support from their crowd and use it to get back ahead here. I could also seeing this going downhill completely if the Pens grab momentum early. But I'm trying to be positive here for once *g*

Bruins... Bruins... Bruins....

What's going on? Going down to the Whalercanes ain't so nice. Because let's face it Habs fans, it's the Whalercanes with the StaalClone1. Do we really want a Whalercane/Puffles series???! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Oh Colin and your magic boxes of suspending powers

I may be biased here - okay, I am being biased here - but I honestly do not believe that Ovie meant to kill Poke2's knee. Did he mean to hit him? Well yes, Ovie did mean to hit Gonchar, but I really don't think he meant to hit his knee... I still think you'd have to be really stupid to collide knee on knee with someone on purpose. If only because the potential to ruin your own knee is too great.... please don't pull our your stupid boxes of randomness and suspend Ovie.

Oh and....

Bettman. Just give the guy the damn team already. This whole "we're committed to keeping the team in a place where they don't have enough fans to keep it running" is ridiculous already. Not saying I like Balsillie or anything but Bettman being stubborn like this is silly.

Putting those voodoo dolls to good use

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

It's one of those games that you just HAVE to step on a voodoo doll. And stick him in the oven. And throttle him. I need an Eggplant one now.

A few questions about this whole team in Ontario thing

Let's pretend for a second that Balsillie does get to become the new owner of the Coyotes and as such he gets to moves them. Now what?
  1. Exactly WHERE is he going to put the team? "Southern Ontario" covers a lot of area. Hamilton and Kitchner have been named by various people as potential places, but I haven't heard the guy who wants to buy the team actually say "this is where we're putting the team if we move it". Does he actually have a specific city in mind?
  2. If he puts it within a certain distance of another NHL, I believe he will have to pay money to Maple Leafs and/or Sabres. How much money is that going to eat up? Is that going to hurt the franchise?
  3. If he puts it in Hamilton, what will become of the Hamilton Bulldogs? Yes, I have a vested interest in my Baby Habs. I really don't think Hamilton can support both the Bulldogs AND this hypothetical NHL team. What is going to happen to my Hammies?
  4. Of course putting another team in Ontario seriously messes with the divisions. How is that going to work exactly unless we ship the Islanders or the Thrashers off somewhere else?
  5. Exactly what makes Balsillie think that Southern Ontario needs an NHL team anyway? He says there is an unserved market there. Looking at a map, I see Toronto, Detroit and Buffalo all nearby. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't see an unserved market there.
  6. Is this whole Gretzky thing going to be a major sticking point at some time? I seem to be the only person who doesn't think that he should be coaching but apparently someone decided that he is the face of the Coyotes. Will this be a problem in the move? Are we going to be stuck with a lousy coach because he's so heavily involved in the franchise in Phoenix?
Which brings me to a slightly off topic question:

Do we really need 30 teams in the league? Would the league be better off with less but more talented teams set in markets that can support them?

Jim Balsillie vs King Gary Take 3

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Here we go again. I have no idea what he's done to tick King Gary off, but Balsillie isn't quitting apparently. Nope, when the Nashville bid failed, he didn't simply go home and cry about it. Well, maybe he did. I wouldn't know. But he's back now and he's trying to buy the Coyotes this time. 

This is turning into one of those tragic comedies, isn't it?

I don't get why King Gary doesn't just give him the damn team if he has the money to buy and sustain it. Even if it means the team will move to a half decent market for once, so what? God forbid the team might actually stand a chance of operating if it moved to another city... Sometimes I wonder if King Gary is just being stubborn about keeping NHL teams in the cities that HE wants them to be in....

As long as Balsillie doesn't put the team in Toronto, I'm all for having another team in Canada. C'mon, Gary. It's supposed to be our sport. Can't you let us have another team? Please? 

Still rocking the red...!

Ahem.... The highlights from last night. I'm half tempted to get myself a video editing program and add some really drop dead amazing music to it but I'll spare you all for now =p


Monday, May 4, 2009

I only just now saw the footage of Tomas Surovy hitting our poor Jaro upside the head after the Slovaks tanked in a 8-0 loss to the Czechs in the World Championship. For the records, Surovy was playing on the same team as our little Slovak goalie. How the hell is he supposed to do anything when you're giving him a concussion by whacking him upside the head?! I sincerely hope that none of the Habs players tried this in practice.....

I am now in the midst of trying to acquire a waterbottle large enough to take out Surovy for good.

Poor Jaro. He's always getting abused....

EDIT: Habs Inside/Out says Jaro was "Avery'd" (remember Avery did a similar thing to Marshmallow?). To quote Alour: So you're going to pull a Torts on Surovy because he Avery'd Jaro? At least the Rangers are good for some new lingo!


Forget caffeine to keep you awake. Watch Ovie. He. Is. Freaking.Awesome.

I've been running around like an idiot right now....=p


If saying that makes me anti-Canadian, then fine. I don't care. Ovie makes me smile every time he scores. Well.... minus that highlight reel goal against Pricey.... but almost every time!

Yes, I haven't been this excited over a game in.... a long time.... WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

So awesome that this calls for another lame limmerick!

We just can't get enough of Ovie
He just loves to score so much - sowwy
He came out to play
And made them all pay
What would we ever do without Ovie?

I'm too hyped to even think properly about the game. I can't even type in a coherent fashion....Can't you tell? THIS WAS AMAZING!!

Despite the LAME start to the game which saw yet another Puffy goal in the first period... the Caps came back with... an Ovie goal to tie it up in the third period. Simmy and Maf - Simmy in particular - were amazing again. The Ovie goal was followed by a Puffy goal later which brought us to 3-2 going into the third period. Dino (see "Dictionary of EPisms") tied it on some icky Pens playing. And then Ovie scored on the PP - which was amazing because the Caps hadn't done anything on the PP before and semi-sad because Eggplant decided to not show up to the playoffs- which had me in absolute fits. And then again he gets a mini breakaway and puts it away. HAAAAAAAAT TRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK! That sound you heard was the Verizon Center roof coming off.

And then Jurcina decides to make a bid for my Hate-You-Right-Now list by taking a penalty with 2 minutes to go. Pens pull Maf and guess who the heck scores on the PP? OH YES. PUFFY PUTS IT OFF OF SIMMY'S HEAD AND INTO THE NET WITH 30 SECONDS LEFT TO GO! Like seriously.... Puffy topped off my Hate-You-Right-Now list because it wrecked an otherwise wonderful ending to the game.

And yes. Ovie AND Puffy had hattricks. Apparently it's the first time in 13 years that two players have had hattricks in the same game in the playoffs or something. I dunno. Bettman must be freaking now. Oh and yes, only Puffy showed up tonight. Maf got no help from the Pokemon or the Vegetables or the Vampires tonight. Poor Maffy. I felt bad for him.

Kinda. I wished he played somewhere else.... =(

but anyway....

Funniest moment of the night: The Sens relative calls. The mother picks it up. He started watching the game later so he's behind where I am (I've got it on live). He hears me screaming and thinks it's because Mr. Puffy scores (the Sens relative likes Puffy). I hear something about some chants about "Sidney" (glad he remembers my rabbit's name *g*). I'm too busy dancing around to point out that it was the "Hated-Ovie" that scored the goal to make it 3-2 and not the Puffy. I will have to remind the relative that the Wonderfully Amazing Ovie's hat trick won over the Puffy's hat trick when I see him next =)

Quote of the night:

Boudreau: If this were tennis, we've held serve.

Dude. This guy is brilliant. Yes. The Caps hold serve to take the first set! Hell yeah!

Oh wait! More quotes. Crosby apparently has a problem with other people getting a hattrick....

"People kept throwing hats. I was just asking if he could make an announcement to ask them to stop. I mean, the first wave came and then I think they were all pretty much picked up, and then more started coming. So for us, we just wanted to make sure we kept kind of moving and kept the game going, wanted to try to get back in it. So wasn't complaining about anything."

I'm thinking this is the cue to start throwing hats at the beginning of Game 5 - assuming there is a Game 5. Puffy is just jealous that he only got one hat.... Pfft....

And what does the Anointed one think of Simmy?
"I mean, yeah, he's made some timely saves. I still think we can do a better job of burying the puck and capitalizing on our chances. The difference is a few inches, but he battles and he competes, and there's times where he's out of position but he finds a way to get a piece of his body on it. So as a shooter you have to make sure that you bear down, and we have to really correct that quickly. I mean, there are times when he's kind of swimming in the crease and we've got some loose pucks and we've got to put them in."

Does this remind anyone of Jumbo Joe's comments about Jaro being "good" when he beat the Sharks? Uh how about "yeah, he was amazing"?

And finally, Mr. Puffy comments on Ovie's hattrick

"When it comes down to it they got a big goal there on the power play when it counted, and that's the difference. I don't see anything else but that. We had opportunities, I mean, the last two games we can honestly say we did some really good things but we made a few mistakes that have hurt us. That can be a good thing to look at as well, knowing that we're that close and these are things that we can easily and change quickly. But we have to do that."

Read: Hattrick? What hattrick? I got one too, remember? Hello? I GOT ONE TOO DAMNIT!

Ovie says:

Sick game. Sick goals by me and him.

We liked yours better Ovie.... really.... =p No, I have no shame whatsoever in saying that.....