Peach Fuzz vs Way Too Much Fuzz

Friday, May 15, 2009

I'm going for the roof in the eastern conference so now I ask.... Wings or Hawks in the west? To help me decide I've compiled a list of pros and cons for each.

Pros to cheering for the Hawks:
  • Captain Sideburns Toews
  • Cabbage Patch Kid Kane
  • Byfuglien (pronounced "BUFFlin")
  • Versteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeg
  • Havlat is not a Sens anymore
  • Any by extension of the last one... anyone who is not a Sen anymore is a good person. Unless they're a Leaf, a Bruin, a Duck or a Shark, or a Penguin.
  • Burish has big hair
  • Lots of Canadians on the team
  • Made Luongo cry
  • Beat the Crapnucks
  • If the Hawks win, the Leafs will have the longest Stanley Cup drought.
  • Toews and Kane can possibly cure my Post-Ovechkin-Syndrome.
Cons to cheering for the Hawks
  • Toews irks me
  • Kane irks me
  • Seeing Byfuglien's name and trying to figure out how it's pronounce "BUFFlin" irks me
  • Crabby Khabby isn't Maffy.... or Simmy... or Pricey.... or Jaro....He's Crabby Khabby. He irks me.
  • Their logo irks me.
  • their white jerseys blend in with the ice more than anybody else's do for some reason... that irks me.
  • peach fuzz "beards" irk me (blame Puffy No Beard for that)

Pros for cheering for the Wings
  • I respect the heck out of them
  • I've spent the better part of the season defending them and as such I feel obligated to continue to cheer for them
  • They dont' irk me
  • I don't particularly fancy the idea of the Western Conference's Puffy and Malkin getting a Stanley Cup so that means I go with the defending champs
  • I like calling Datsyuk a Turnip *g* there's a new one to put in the dictionary!
  • Another Cup for the Wingsies will put them ahead of the Leafs. Or something. Reminding the Leafs of their awfulness is a good thing.

Cons for cheering for the Wings
  • They don't particularly excite me. Post-Ovechkin-Syndrome calls for exciting goal scorers, please. Yes, you get the job done. Yes, you make it look scary with the precision in which you've scored some of your goals but it's not Ovie-cool.....
  • Despite defending him for the last few months, Hossa stills irks me as a former Pen fan...
  • Osgood gives me Halak-attacks. Actually, it's worse than a Halak-attack...
  • While I admit that the Wings do have good playoff beards, I can't stand playoff beards to be honest and all the fuzz irks me. Then again.... peach fuzz a la Crosby and Kane irks me too....How about we just ditch the playoff beard altogether? I am sure that is the one and only thing that the Anointed One and I will ever agree on.
  • Does Detroit really need another Stanley Cup?

So. That is totally not helpeful..... Peach Fuzz vs Too Much Fuzz....


Justin said...

Hm. Malkin's not doing a beard. ;)

I'm rooting for the Hawks in the West, myself.

Eternal Pessimist said...

Somehow I can't picture Eggplant in a playoff beard anyway.... it's just.... he ends up looking like Santa.... =p

Justin said...

What's with the high-scoring Russian rivals? Both of them certainly don't possess much in the looks area...

Eternal Pessimist said...

Yes, Eggplant. See the dictionary for an explanation *g*

At least they don't have a Pavel Datsyuk turnip head. Malkin just looks like an eggplant *G* And at least I get to say Ovie had the better playoff beard by default, lol....

Number31 said...

Detroit Hockey Robots irk me.

Eternal Pessimist said...

I'm still working on that magic formula for liking Kane and Toews... =p

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