Gauthier wanted to be a Hab?

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I think Bob Gainey must have lost his mind.

I really do.

Apparently Denis Gauthier wanted to play for the Habs and Gainey said no.

Seriously, what is going on, Bob?!! How could you say "no" to signing Denis Gauthier?

Betrand Raymond wrote the other day that Gauthier's agent approached Gainey during the Draft and asked if he would have a place on the team for Gauthier. Gainey being Gainey initally said "We'll talk later". Then when the free agency period came up, the agent called him up and really politely asked if Gainey had considered signing his client.

And do you know what Gainey said? Do you know what he said?!

"Keep calling other clubs".

Oh my god. How could you say such a mean thing, Bob? That is just so... so... cruel!

Gauthier is perfect for this team. He's a local guy, he speaks French, he loves the public and he wouldn't go around St. Laurent street at weird hours. What more could you want?

Oh you mean he has to be able to play hockey too? Well he does! He's had 2 goals in his last season with the LA Kings. That's 2 more than he had during his two year stint with the Flyers. And he had 2 assists. How many did that Russian Markov have last season? Exactly! Gauthier also had 90 PIM and god knows how many suspensions. Plus he turned Josh Gorges' brains into jelly.

So you see, there really is no reason why Gainey shouldn't have signed him. He's perfect for the Habs.


[note: yes, I am being 100% sarcastic in this post. Do not think for a second that I would actually want Gauthier here. Because I don't.]

"How to get a woman to love hockey"

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

This thing appeared on e-how. It's a guide to getting your apparently stupid girlfriend to get into hockey. I think this article deserves to be reposted here with some snarky EP interjections in between.

How to get a woman to love hockey [aka how to get yourself punched in the face by a woman]

You are the "ultimate hockey fan." You live, breathe, taste, and experience the fanatics of insult bashing, skates clashing, pucks soaring, hitting, thumping, shoving, tripping, elbow shoving, "in your face" winter sports action on the ice called, HOCKEY! [Soaring pucks? What is this, baseball? "And Ovechkin hits the puck. It's going, going, gone! He homers! The Capitals take the lead 1-0 in the first inning err period!" No idea what all this thumping, elbow shoving and skates clashing stuff is either.... ]

Each year, you ceremoniously welcome the sporting season by donning your teams colors from head to toe and rooting them to victory. [Why wait until the fall? I wear my teams' colours all year round] With each new season, you thrill for that first time feeling of cold brisk air that will run across your face as the hockey players make their way up and down the ice. The smell of fresh popped popcorn, decadent treats [what's decadent about a hotdog? Okay, so maybe the price is decadent but the food itself definitely isn't decadent] and cheering fans bring you almost to a point of ecstasy. The excitement of winning, the players, the playoffs, the Stanley Cup.........the very essence of what makes a man a "real man!" HOCKEY!

However, this season has a new added addition to the roster.....a girlfriend. She understands that YOU love the game of hockey but can't understand why men enjoy pushing and shoving each other in the cold, getting beat up, slapped [slapped? You must be a fan of Semin!] and whacked over the head with a hockey stick, all for just getting that tiny little round "thingamabob" into a net! ["thingamabob"? Are you kidding me? Even my dog knows what a puck is for crying out loud] It is just beyond her imagination. How could a woman possibly understand a "real man's" sport and come to love it almost as much as he loves her? Is there some magic to making her understand the “mojo” of a man and his sport? What's a man to do? [Right. A woman would never ever get hockey. Nope. Never. Ever. They're just like, so dumb]

Maybe the solution to a better understanding of the game of hockey, is to take your girl to see the action, up close and personal! [how up close is it going to be if you can only afford tickets way up in the rafters?]

Difficulty: Moderately Easy
Things You'll Need:

* A camera
* Spending money
* A hockey brochure [what the hell is that for?]
* A hockey souvenier [I think you mean "souvenir"]
* A hockey logo blanket [Unless you're planning on sleeping, that's pointless]
* A Bell to ring [No noise making things are needed]
* A few insults to yell
* Warm clothes to snuggle [snuggle? You do NOT snuggle at a hockey game]


Step 1

Don't make things too complicated. Explain the game of hockey in layman terms; There are players, a stick, a puck, a goal, a referee and whole lot of hooting and a hollering. The object of the game is for one team to get that tiny little round black object (the puck) in the net to score. [no way! Players? A stick? (just one? Do they share?) A puck? What is all this? I thought hockey was played by ducks who used spoons to put the ball into the hoop?! This is like, totally shocking to me. Wow!]


Step 2

You will totally confuse her if you say, "There are three basic kinds of players: forwards, defensemen, and goaltenders (goalies). Unless a team is shorthanded due to a penalty or overtime, each team will have six players on the ice during play. Three forwards line up at the front of the team, and they are (from left to right) the left wing, the center, and the right wing. Two defensemen line up behind them, one on the left and one on the right. The goalie is the sixth player. [I've got images of the players lining up and doing the macarena when you keep mentioning all this "lining up" stuff] The forwards are responsible for most of the offense, and they tend to stay out front, while the defensemen are largely responsible for hanging back and making sure they are ready to protect the defensive zone. The goalie rarely strays far from his crease, but he does skate out and pass pucks to the other players." [So how is she supposed to learn about the game if you don't explain it to her? And what do you mean "the goalie rarely strays far from his crease"? Have you ever seen Turco play?]


Step 3

Follow these tips and guidelines designed to make your girl love the game of hockey. In no time flat, the second next #1 hockey fan ["second next #1 hockey fan?" Is that good English?] will be the girl who can appreciate the finer things in sports...........hot dogs, chicken fingers, chips, popcorn, peanuts, soft drinks and ice cold beer combined with great skating and some occasional damn good brawls. [I didn't realize the finer parts of a sport was the crap food. A brawls only count if you're a Flyers fan] You can't ask for better.....a girl in one hand, a beer in the other and watching the love of your life, HOCKEY! [You need to get your priorities straight, dude]

Tips & Warnings

Show your girl attention. Ask her if she is enjoying the game. Don't ignore her. [well, if you're going to bring her, you sure as hell better not ignore her!]

Get a program and show her some of the players. Women love a man "in the know." [you need a program for that?]

Offer to buy her a team logo blanket to share during the game. You can enjoy snuggling together. You will definitely score points practicing this tip. [A blanket? Are you kidding me? It's a freaking INDOOR arena. And what is with this snuggling stuff? Were you not loved enough as a child?]

Show her the game souvenirs and buy her some of those cute team earrings. She will love you for that. [she won't love you if she doesn't like earrings]

Give her spending money so she can partake of all those delicious foods offered at the concessions while you watch the ice babes at the end of the quarter. [What do you eat on a daily basis to consider this crap they have at arenas "delicious" food? And what quarter? This is HOCKEY. There's three periods.]

Kiss her every time your team scores. [Unless of course she's doing what everyone else is doing which is jumping up and clapping]

Share with her some of your favorite "insults" that you enjoy throwing out at the game. [Finally something intelligent here! Yes, by all means teach how to diss the opposing team!]

Give her a camera to use during the game. Tell her you would love to have pictures of your time together. (This will keep her busy forever!) [better hope she's not taking pics of you passed out drunk in the stands....]

Let her use your binoculars. So what if you are down front near the ice. She can use them to "people watch." Warning: Take them away if you find she is spending too much time using them on the players and smiling. [Oh so it's okay for YOU to look at the icegirls but it's not okay for her to look at the players? Wow, that is what I call hypocrisy!]

Teach her the team chants. She will feel important and useful. [The you put that sounds so demeaning. Everyone should feel important singing "Ole!"]

Buy her drinks. She will surely enjoy the game after more than one toddy. If she decides she wants to go down on the ice and skate with the players, it is time to cut her off! [I'd love it if my girlfriend wanted to go and skate with the players. No matter how drunk she was. Not that I advocate getting my gilfriend drunk at a hockey game...]

Thank her for coming the game with you and tell her how much more exciting it is with her there. [Oh now I see why you wanted to get her drunk. So you could make it easier to lie to her!]

Show her understanding and don't laugh at her when she cries over the player who cracks open his skull open on the ice and has to be carried out on a stretcher. She has a sensitive side. [Oh yeah, it's hilarious when a player could have just had his career ended because he got his skull cracked open. HAHAHAHA! Funny! Seriously.. what the hell?]

Hold her hand on occasion and let her know how nice it is to have her right beside you watching your "dream team" together. [More lies!]

Teach her how to pass a hot dog down 3 rows across 10 people victoriously. [What is this? I've never seen or heard of this happening in a hockey game before? Is this some weird ritual they do in Phoenix?]

Don't go "gaga" over the ice babes at half time. (Only when she is in the restroom) [how about you don't go "gaga" over a pile of idiots anyway? And for the last time... This is HOCKEY. There are no quarters, no half times, no innings, no sets. There are THREE PERIODS!!!]

Don't drink too much and don't spill your food all over her. [If anybody spilled anything on me, I'd dropkick them into the stands WAY below....]

Keep your opposing fan slurs to a bare minimum because she still thinks you never use words like that in public. [I'm sure she's never sworn in her life...]

Make sure your girl is warmly dressed. The ice arena can be cold and too much snuggling will hinder your game enthusiasm. [But YOU wanted the snuggling in the first place!!!!!]

Don't tell her you once saw a hockey game, where one of the players was hit in the face point-blank by a hockey puck and they literally picked his teeth up off the ice afterwards or that he returned to the game with a mouth full of packing and a frozen face, and proceeded to play another regular period followed by two 20-minute overtime periods, and a bit of a third. Women just don't understand the best part of the game. [Why wouldn't she understand the amount of grit and dedication it takes for a player who was just injured to come back onto the ice like that? Oh right. She's an idiot]

When the game is over, give her a great big hug and tell her you can't wait for her to join you at the next game. [all this lying is bad for your relationship] If she want to know if she can wear that adorable red and white outfit that she thinks will match your team's colors, make sure you oblige her by saying, "I can't imagine anything that would look better!" [How about you buy her a REAL hockey shirt?] Your real thought being, "except the time you saw an opposing player's collarbone break when he is slammed into a goalpost or when your favorite player crushed his right hand when he used it to break his fall after being cross-checked from behind."[Yeah, I love watching my favorite players get injured too. It's like, the best thing ever!]

Go home and thank God for a great evening. Most important, pray they have hockey in heaven! [if you keep this behavior up, you might end up in heaven sooner rather than later]

This like more like how to breed a puckbunny. And we certainly don't need anymore of those thank you!

Hey Montreal Morons!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

In you case you missed it - because he deleted it already - Scott Morganroth of the Detroit Sports Broadcasters Association wrote a rant about the "Montreal Morons". I actually found it amusing. I shall repost it here complete with Snarky EP Interjections in between because I'm feeling snarky (I actually wrote this up last night when I was suffering from hockey withdrawal).

When I heard that the Montreal Canadiens fans booed “The Star Spangled Banner” before Game Three of the Eastern Conference Quarter Finals against the Boston Bruins at the Bell Centre on April 20, I was sick to my stomach. It made me want to edit the Canadian National Anthem from “Oh Canada” to “No Canada” because they disrespected a neighbor, who would protect them during an international conflict.


When I read an article by someone who wrote the "fans" in Montreal who booed the "Star Spangled Banner" before Game Three of the Eastern Conference Quarter Finals in the 2009 Stanley Cup Playoffs against the Boston Bruins at the Bell Center (located on 1260 Rue La Gauchetiere, Montreal, Quebec, Canada, North American, Planet Earth) on April 20, I nearly fell asleep after the first sentence. I was so ashamed that I would be so disrespectful to a neighbor by falling asleep, that I was quite sick to my stomach....

Montreal was a city that had another franchise back in the 1930’s named the Maroons. On April 20, the fans in the Bell Centre were named the Montreal Morons.


Someone remembers that we had a team called the Maroons? Isn't that awesome? I thought everyone had forgotten about them. I'm so proud that someone actually remembered them.

After the incident, Canadiens Coach & General Manager Bob Gainey showed class by telling his fans their behavior was uncalled for. For years, I’ve always had a ton of respect for the Canadiens and their fans as being an excellent hockey town. This original six city has the same passion as Green Bay Packers fans do where everything revolves around the team on and off the field of play. Being the only game in town with a large city is what these towns live for.


Green Bay Packers.......? Please tell me I wasn't the only one who had to go and Google that. And yeah, Bob is teh awesome.

But I lost all of my respect for Montreal due to this classless incident due to the lack of common sense. I’m not buying the Us Vs Them excuse with the USA facing Canada because there are many match-ups in North America which feature these two countries. The Boston Bruins and Canadiens have indeed had many contested battles since they’re both original six teams however, to boo the other countries national anthem is crossing the line between politics and sports.


I think I lost all respect for the city of Detroit too. I mean, how can I respect a city that has someone writing up a diatribe like this? All those wonderful people that I know from Detroit have to be morons too because as Morganroth implies, if a city has a few idiots, everyone from that city has to be an idiot too.

And I wonder what he thought about the Blues fans booing the Canadian national anthem?

There is no question that the Canadiens success in their 100 year tradition is unmatched. They’ve won 24 Stanley Cups more than any other team and as a franchise this amounts to 26 percent.
On Dec 29, 2008, Montreal defeated the Florida Panthers 5-2 to become the first team in NHL history to reach 3,000 victories.


Thanks for acknowledging that. Maybe you do know a thing or two about this team....

But in recent years, the Canadiens have fallen onto hard times. Montreal’s last Stanley Cup occurred in 1992-93 when former Detroit Red Wings Coach Jacques Demers guided them to a title led by Hall of Fame Goaltender Patrick Roy.
Don’t expect anymore championships in the immediate future as a modern day player would rather play for a USA based team where the dollar has a much higher value.


Someone should tell the dingbats at my bank that the American dollar is "much higher" than the Canadian one because I was paid in American dollars a few weeks ago and when I had it converted, it wasn't much higher. Now I'm mad!

Does anybody in the USA care or know anything about Hockey Night In Canada?


Apparently not. Because if they did, then they'd know that in Quebec we don't watch Hockey Night in Toronto....

With the exception of the NHL Finals and a marquee match-up in the playoffs, you won’t see a Canadian based team on NBC. The Detroit Red Wings, Pittsburgh Penguins, Philadelphia Flyers, New York Rangers, Boston Bruins, Washington Capitals, New Jersey Devils, Chicago Blackhawks and Colorado Avalanche have been the primary teams featured on the game of the week.


And we all know how great it is to watch the Devils and the Avalanche! I wonder why NBC never puts on the Panthers? Or the Lightning? Or the Coyotes? Or the Predators? They're American teams too, right? Why don't they get any airtime on NBC? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU NBC?!

As a sidenote... I remember a specific "game of the week" where NBC had a Flyers/Rangers game on in which the Flyers lost in the most ubelieveably lame fashion. And while the poor people had to suffer through that, there was a really great Bruins/Penguins game on... Wonderful work NBC!

While Canada’s hockey tradition speaks for itself, the Winnipeg Jets and Quebec Nordiques moved south of the border to Phoenix, AZ and Denver because they couldn’t survive north of the border. Over the years, the Ottawa Senators and Edmonton Oilers have struggled financially. There are only six Canadian based teams with the Senators, Canadiens and Toronto Maple Leafs in the Eastern Conference while the Oilers, Calgary Flames and Vancouver Canucks compete in the Western Conference.


And we all know how well the Jets are doing in Phoenix, eh? Funny how he doesn't mention that Phoenix was just loaned a pile of money from the NHL to stay in operation. Or that Nashville had a little crisis earlier this year? Or that the Thrashers and the Lightning can't fill their buildings even half way on most nights.....

When sports fans around the continent look at Montreal, they view this market as a third world country because of the many failures of its teams. Major League Baseball’s Expos are now the Washington Nationals while Montreal has struggled to support two Canadian Football League teams. The Montreal Alouettes and Concordes have folded and revived over the years.


I always thought that Phoenix and Nashville as third world countries too because of their problems maintaining a hockey team without borrowing a pile of money.....

My advice to Canadiens fans is don’t embarrass yourself anymore because North American fans don’t view your city as a legitimate sports town.

I'm sure everyone here wakes up every morning with the idea that they want their city to be viewed as the most amazing and legitimate sports town in the world.

To the people of the town of Montreal: You're greatest ambitions have now been squashed.

Very few people in Dallas, Phoenix, Denver, Tampa Bay, Southern Florida, North Carolina, Columbus, Ohio, Nashville, Tennessee, and Atlanta know anything about Guy LaFleur, Jean Beliveau, Henri Richard, Maurice Richard, Larry Robinson, Yvan Cournoyer, Steve Shutt, Bernie Geoffrion, Ken Dryden and Jacques Plante.


Notice how he leaves out New York, Boston, Detroit and Chicago....

But they do know that you booed “The Star Spangled Banner.” It’s hard to believe that your championship drought has now reached 16 years.


Yeah, I can't believe we haven't won in over 16 years either...It tears me up every night when I go to sleep....

I predict that the Detroit Lions will reach the Super Bowl before your team will hoist another Stanley Cup Trophy because teams in the NFL have been know to change their fortunes quickly if they make the right moves in the drafts, via trades and on the waiver market. The Miami Dolphins went from 1-15 to 11-5 in one calendar year.


Someone should inform the Islanders about that. They could really use some help in changing their team around.

The perception of Montreal by todays players is that your area is viewed as Hockey’s version of Siberia and they know the national television exposure and mega endorsement deals in Montreal are lacking.


If we're Siberia than what is Nashville? The moon? I don't think they have a brutal media in Siberia either...

To the people of Siberia: We greatly apologize if your feelings have been hurt. We're sure that Siberia is a great place to live despite the perception that you all live in the middle of nowhere.

Today’s players will take the same approach as the Montreal Expos did by using your organizations as stepping stones toward free agency and seeking greener pastures. Your 100 year tradition will carry less weight in contract negations.
Then again, USA fans won’t care about you and they’ll continue to say “No Canada.


USA fans don't care about us? Oh! I AM SO SHOCKED! You have just like, burst my bubble. I thought everyone cared about us? Oh wow... whatever am I going to do now?

Today in "things that annoy EP"... Crosby vs. Ovie

Thursday, March 19, 2009

More Crosby vs Ovechkin stuff. I'm getting tired of this, which is why I've gotten around to writing this after three failed attempts.

You'd think that I'd like this stuff. I'm a Habs fan who was a Penguins fan who turned into a Capitals fan. At no point was I ever a big Crosby fan, although I did turn into a huge Ovechkin fan. But honestly, all this stuff is annoying. And it's quite pointless.

I understand why Crosby has turned into public enemy no. 1 for just about everyone who doesn't live in Pittsburgh. He has been hyped and hyped and shoved down our throats since before day one of his NHL career. That type of hype easily drives people batty and there will invariably be a backlash. Maybe because of all the hype and the handling he's gone through, Crosby comes off as having about as much emotion as a cardboard box. He's been told what to do and how to do it for a very long time and it seems as though nothing he says or does is very original. I'm not saying that he's like in that in reality, but he comes off that way. Talented as he may be (and all you Crosby haters, let's face it, he is indeed talented), he's not very fun to watch on most days.

Sadly for Crosby, there so just happens to be a very talented and very flashy Russian who came along at the same time as him. Think of it as a Federer and Nadal thing if you want to compare it to tennis. On the one hand we've got the very talented but boring superstars and on the other, we have the very talented but definitelty not boring superstars. It's a bit of a no brainer as to who everyone will gravitate to. Ovechkin is everything that Crosby isn't in terms of personality. He's this huge ball of emotion that just bursts out. He comes off way more genuine and way less manufactured. When he celebrates his goals or the goals of his teamates, you can't help but get excited for them. You're drawn in. When Ovechkin was told that some people were comparing him to Maurice Richard he said that he just wants to be himself. He's not trying to be anyone else.

So we have two guys who are both incredibly talented. Why on earth do I have to wake up every morning to "Crosby vs Ovie round 1234567865"? Oh wait. I know. It's the big bad hype machine again. The hype machine doesn't allow for two talented guys to inhabit the same league without there being some friction between them. When the Ovechkin/Malkin "feud" went poof, the media had to go and hype up something else to death. Oh hey, why not Crosby and Ovechkin? Now, we can't exactly go blaming the media only. The media is only doing it's job: the sell a story, however stupid, wrong, or unfounded it may be. People enjoy wild and stupid stories.

Ignoring the media hype for a second, I do believe there are a few reasons why the average fan has trouble accepting both of them at the same time. First is that they have vastly different personalities. Because they're so different and they're teams play in such a different way, it's hard to like both of them. Second, is nationality. For Canadians, anyway, I think there's people who feel threatened by Ovechkin and the fact that he's from Europe. It goes to that whole anti-Euro sentiments that I keep complaining about. I'm not sure that we'd be seeing the same type of hype if they were both from the same country. It's possible (they did manage to hype up Ovechkin vs Malkin) but I'm not sure it'd be the same. I think Penguins fans just feel threatened period. Crosby has been hyped up to be the savior of the NHL and of the Pittsburgh Penguins and to suddenly have people accusing him of being boring and whiny while this other guy goes around earning all this praise for being entertaining, isn't too nice.

But really, despite of all that, I still don't get why it has to be one or the other. If you don't like one of them, fine, but why go into a long tirade about the other one? Good natured bashing is fine. But a lot of what I see, isn't good natured in the least. It's often quite (unintentionally) silly and the premises for bashing the other one is often stupid. "Crosby's whiny so therefore he sucks". "Ovechkin shows off so he sucks". That's really not much of an argument and it's not really true. Both are very talented players and both don't really deserve half the bashing that they've gotten. If the hype machines would just go dive off a cliff, I think I could take a lot of it better, but it's very annoying to wake up every morning and see "Crosby thinks Ovie's a showboat" or "Ovie tries to kill Crosby on the ice!" or "Crosby vs Ovie: the feud continues"...Like it or lump it, they're both talented players and they're not going anywhere.

Stop the hype-machine!!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

It's not even lunch time and I'm already subjected to the next round of hype. Whoopie. It's been Crosby is the next Great One for years now. Last year it was Carey Price was the next Patrick Roy. Only yesterday Ovechkin got compared to Maurice Richard (which had me in a really bad mood for several reasons). Today's victim is the Columbus Blue Jacket's goalie Steve Mason.

Now look, we all know how talented the guy is and all that jazz, but what's hilarious about this article here is that it basically opens up saying that Price got anointed as the next great one too early and what do they do next? They continue on about how Steve Mason could be the next Brodeur. Talk about mild hypocrisy! Look, like I said, Mason is talented. You don't get what is it, 9 shutouts on a team like the Columbus Blue Jackets without having talent. We know, we know. But honestly. You don't got anointing 20 year-olds (or eighteen year-olds or twenty-three year-olds) as the next big deal BEFORE they do something great. In all likelihood the Jackets will make the playoffs and get booted out in round one or two (most likely in round one). Of course everyone will be making a big deal of it because Columbus has never ever made the playoffs in their short little franchise history. That's all fine and everything but how is that going to make Mason the next Brodeur? One good season doesn't mean that he's going to go breaking all the records. As I'm sure everyone knows by now, I have a thing with Brodeur anyway and I shall maintain until the end of Brodeur's career that a huge part of his success has come from the team in front of him. But that's another story.

Do I think Mason can do great things with this team? Yes. I think the Blue Jackets are going to good team in the future but you don't hear me saying "Mason is the next Roy or Brodeur and Nikita Filatov is going to be better than Ovechkin, Malkin and Crosby combined and the Blue Jackets are going to be the next Red Wings". Really. I'm not being bitter. I'm just saying "Stop the hype!" already. If/when the guys do something great then we'll talk about it until the cows come home but it's stupid and unfair to come up with all this crap before they've done anything to really deserve it. We've seen what it's done to Price. It's not pretty. And it's really unfair. Just stop it.

Excuse me if I'm not crying buckets here....

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Anyone else read Dave Stubb's story about George Gillett? You'd think that we're all supposed to be crying buckets for the guy (hmm, buckets is such a nice word don't you think?) after reading that.

Oh come on....

I really wish that people would stop blaming the behavior of the players, particularly the the Kostitsyn brothers and Hamrlik. We have no idea when they were doing any of this and whether it actually affected their game or not. I want to be clear that I'm not defending their behavior necessarily. I think it's just as stupid as the next guy hopefully does. But I don't believe for one second that these three are the first people to blow their money on cars, booze and women. And I don't believe that they will be the last either. What do you honestly expect out of a bunch of young guys with a lot of money to burn in a major city like this? Did you honestly think that they'd donate their money to World Wildlife Fund and spend their free time in a soup kitchen? Look, I'm just saying that I think it's really silly that the media is jumping on these guys.

No one should be surprised that this is what they do. When those infamous pictures in Mexico were the scandal of the hour, someone pointed out that the media in Montreal is stuck in the last century. They don't get that a lot of guys - and not just hockey players with a lot of money to burn - do this all the time. Again, I'm not endorsing this type of behavior, but it's really not all that shocking and yet the media acts as though it is. Come back and tell me if the police lay any charges for illegal activity and in the mean time, stop acting like being stupid is a criminal offense. Because it's not.

Now even without all these non-scandals, we're supposed to be crying buckets for Gillett because the team that he poured a pile of money into is tanking big time. It's just oh so sad that the players care more about partying, drinking, smoking and generally just not listening to their coach for the heck of it, than they do about putting up a decent effort for their poor deprived owner.

Oh pleeeaaaase.

The only thing I'm going to do with that bucket is puke in it. While the Habs are tanking, Gillett is raking quite a lot of money. While I want to think that he cares more about this team than he does about the money that he makes, I can't easily believe that's the truth. I don't blame Gillett. Nobody in their right mind buys a team without at least hoping to make money off of it. Not even multi-millionaire businessmen who can buy these teams like you go out and buy bubblegum at the store. I just don't get why I should be feeling bad for him when he's happily making money regardless of how the team preforms.

If you want to feel for someone, feel bad for the fans. They're the ones who (usually) care about the team and have done so for a lot longer than Gillett has. They're the ones who are parting with large sums of money to go see their Habs put up epic fail after epic fail. They are the ones who for some unknown reason are readying to part with a lot of money to buy this overpriced merchandise crap.

I'm happy that Gillett bought the team and is doing all of this for whoever he's doing it for. I'm not saying that he's a bad owner either. I'm just saying, I'm not about to feel bad for him just because this year has been crappy.

[why yes, it is a slow news day and I've still got two and a half hours till the puck drops for the Sens/Habs game and am bored out of my mind..... I think I'll go clear out the dust bunnies under my desk while I wait....why hello little dust bunny. I'm going to name you Daniel Briere *tosses in garbage in the garbage can* byebye Danny!]

Oh please....

Friday, February 20, 2009

Someone wake me up if this supposed "big story" that has the Kostitsyn brothers and Hamrlik linked to some guy who just got arrested and allegedly has criminal connections turns into a story at all.....In the mean time, I'm off to drown my sorrows in a nice big mug of green tea....

Can we please calm down?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Look. I know that the last 36 hours have been insane for all of us crazies. It's enough to make anyone's head explode. Including mine. But can we please just take a pill and chill out?

This is precisely why people think we're an insane bunch of whackos here. Because we go over board at the slightest bit of news. Everything little thing gets blown up into a huge news item when it really isn't.

O'Byrne and Sergei Kostitsyn get sent back to Hamilton? Time to freak out because O'Byrne totally does not deserve to go back to Hamilton this time around even if we were all screaming for his head earlier in the year. And clearly Sergei has been partying too much and doesn't listen at all to anyone so that's why he's out of here.

Schneider gets traded to Montreal? Time to complain because what's this guy who's a gazillion years old and has a huge contract going to do?

Unflattering pictures of a certain goalie that are a YEAR old? Time to moan and crab because he is SO clearly walking around the streets drunk now and that's why he's not performing well.

Kovalev stays home? Major freak out time. He's going to be traded. His days with the Habs are finished. He's clearly the source of all of our woes. Axing Kovy is like, da best thing eva!

This all must mean that there's no discipline going on whatsoever and it's all the Europeans fault! And the goalies suck too! And Gainey clearly has no clue what he's doing! Run for the hills! Man the life boats! It's the end of the world!

........Come on............

O'Byrne and Sergei went down because they're two of the few guys who could be sent down. Sergei has not been playing very stellar hockey lately so in all honesty and if it had to come down to either him or D'Agostini, I'd keep D'Agostini right now. I don't know anything about his personal life so I refuse to comment one or the other on the partying issue.

I'm also reserving judgment on Schneider until after he plays a few games. I'm not a huge fan of the idea of getting another ancient player with a huge contract but we'll see what he can do. Maybe he'll be the best thing to get this powerplay back on track. Maybe not.

You know my feelings about Price.

I really doubt that Kovalev is the sole source of all of this mess. It remains to be seen what the Habs will do next.

And you know how I feel about the whole European thing.

In all honesty, it's a real wonder that anyone wants to work for this organization at all. I can't blame guys for wanting to play somewhere else because they know that if they come here everything they do will be looked at, picked apart, analyized and scrutinized to death and then spun into some major and devastating story.

I'm not saying that what hasn't happened isn't news. Yeah. It's news. But everyone is taking this and turning it into something huge thing while adding their own spin to it. I'm not saying "don't talk about all of this" either, I'm saying stop fueling all the spin out there. It's not fair to the players and people involved. The upsetting bit is people claim to care about the team and yet at the first sign of something going wrong they freak out and jump on the next bandwagon that comes along. First it was the "powerplay sucks and that's why the Habs suck" bandwagon, then it was the "Kovalev can't score and that's why the Habs suck" bandwagon, next came the "Blame the Euros because they obviously suck" bandwagon which was followed by the "The goalies suck and Price parties too much" bandwagon. And that's leaving out the trade rumors bandwagon which rolls around quite frequently. Enough is enough.

There's only so far that we can blame the media because the media is only doing their job: They're giving people what they want. It's just really sad that what everyone wants to hear is a bunch of unfounded rumors and bits of news spun so out of control that it's not even funny.

There's really no need to go nuts. Have fun, discuss it, but please don't treat this like the future of world peace depends on the outcome.

Now if you all excuse me, I'm off to find out why Roger Federer has gone MIA......my tennis happiness depends entirely on his success this year *g*

Can we dump the "let's dump the soft Euros" idea?

Saturday, February 14, 2009

So I'm sure by now you've all read or heard of at least one person complaining that the Habs woes stem from the fact that they have too many Europeans on the team. "Chuck all the Europeans and we'll be all set" seems to be "in" thing to say these days right after the "let's fire Carbo" phrase. This guy in particular seems to think that the Habs should get rid of the Europeans on the team.

I refuse to comment on the Carbonneau thing (for now anyway), but I feel I have to address this whole "the Habs have too many Europeans and that's why they're losing" issue. I'll get this out as plainly as I can:

Nationality has ZERO to do with why the Habs are losing right now. and in case no one noticed, a certain European dude just won the game for them last night. Oh right. Goalies don't count in this whole tirade. Okie then...I'll just go off and hug Halak by myself then.....

There are three main clichés when it comes to Europeans and why they are bad to have on your team. 1) They're soft and get banged around a lot 2) they're only in it for the money 3) they don't care about winning the Stanley Cup and that's why they underperform when they play.

This is probably slightly unfair, but I feel the need to say that when I think of soft players or players who are frequently accused of being soft, I always think of Crosby. I've witnessed enough games where Crosby gets banged around and it's not just because everyone's out to kill "The Favorite Penguin". I'm not saying that he's not talented, but you can be talented and still not play a very physical game. As a perfect counter to this, I have to say that Ovechkin is definitely one European guy who is not soft by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, Ovechkin is a perfect counter to any of the arguments that Europeans are soft, only in it for the money, and don't a give a damn about winning.

But let's focus on the Habs, shall we? First off, if you actually break down the nationality of the players on this team then we've got 13 Canadians (7 of which are from Quebec), 4 Americans, 2 and 1/2 Czechs (sorry, Lang, you only count as half a player now), 2 Russians, 2 Belorusians, 1 Finn, and 1 lone Slovak. So that's 17 North Americans and 9 Europeans if we're counting Lang and 15 to 8 if we're not counting any of the injured players (along with Lang, Tanguay and Latendresse are also injured). That's really no where near a European takeover. Not if you want to compare that to Detroit, which has almost as many Swedes as Canadians alone, never mind the rest of the "softy Euros" like Datsyuk and Hossa who hail from Russian and Slovakia respectively.

Back to the Habs.

If memory serves me right, most of our injured players this year were from North America. Komisarek (American), Higgins (American), Dandenault (Canadian), Tanguay (Canadian) and Latendresse (Canadian). These guys were all injured by other players while they were playing (hence the reason why I left out Price, Koivu and Laraque from the list. I also consider Lang's injury a bit of a freak accident so I'm leaving him out too). Komisarek was injured when he fought Milan Lucic who, though he was born and raised in British Columbia, is the son of two people born in Serbia. Tanguay was injured when Evgeny Artyukhin slammed him into the boards when the Habs played Tampa Bay back in January. Yes, people, Artyukhin was born in Russia. And yes, he seems to have a rap for playing rather dirty. I can't remember who injured Higgy, Dandy and Latendresse but it's pretty much safe to assume that they were all injured by Canadians as Higgy and Dandy were injured in the Habs tilt against Calgary back in December (and Calgary carries mostly Canadian players on their team) and Latendresse was injured by (Canadian) Chuck Kobasew when the Habs last played the Bruins. My point here is, does getting hit into the boards and sustaining serious injures make these guys soft? I thought only Europeans got bashed into the boards and sustained bad injuries? Or maybe a bad hit is just a bad hit no matter who's on the receiving end?

I find it hard to believe that all Europeans are just in it for the money, whether it's for themselves only or to support their “poor deprived families back home”. You have to be really obsessed with money to 1) want to work your butt off extra hard to become good enough of a hockey player to get noticed by NHL scouts in the first place (it's a lot harder to get noticed if you're a European player not playing in North America) 2) make the decision to leave your family at a relatively young age and go somewhere else where everything is really different, including the actual game, the language, the culture 3) and let's not forget that you have to put up really good numbers to actually be offered a big contract. No one's going to offer you a 50 million dollar contract if you can't do anything.

Like I said, you'd either have to be that obsessed about money or maybe, just maybe, the players are in it because they genuinely love the game. Why am I getting the feeling that most guys actually care about the sport? Yes, we do hear about the odd guy who scuttles off back to Russia when he gets offered a bigger contract and ends up in a mess because he's now technically signed by two teams. I've got my own thoughts about the KHL and the NHL and their need for a proper transfer agreement but that's a different issue. Just because one or two guys do it - and I don't think that we generally get the full picture about what they left and how they ended up in their situations- doesn't mean that every European player is like that. Sean Avery, I just unfortunately learned, is Canadian and yet we don't get people saying "well, all Canadian players must be super pains and shoot off the mouth and make idiots of themselves at every opportunity because Avery is Canadian and therefore all Canadians must be like him".

When I watch the Habs, I see a bunch of guys who care. So they put up a crap performance now and then (fine, so it's more "now" than "then" these days), but you can care a hell of a lot about the game and still put up a crap game. I think Plekanec has shown that he cares a lot and he works hard out there every night night. Sure, his work almost never pays off for him, but I'd much prefer that he actually try hard every night than just sit on his hands all night. You can't deny either that Lang has been a great part of the team. Not just in the fact that he could score goals and that he worked really hard there, but I'm getting the feeling too that he probably contributed at least a little bit in the dressing room if he was even half as perky in there as he seemed to be on the ice. I’m not sure it’s a total coincidence that the Habs have gone on this whole doom and gloom spree since Lang’s been out.

I think Kovalev cares too, even if it looks like he doesn't these days. It's not right or fair of me or anyone else really, to sit here and accuse him of not caring when I don't know what's going on in his mind. I know that there such a thing as trying too hard and that you often end up doing things that are more complicated or fancier than you would normally do and then it backfires on you. In Kovalev's case, I'm not necessarily surprised that he hasn't performed the way that he has last year. I think it's natural that after coming off a really good performance, you can often go through a slump. Do I wish that it could be different? Yes. Do I wish that he could find a way to come out of this and lead this team to the playoffs? Yes. But guess what? Kovalev is a human being. Shocking, I know. But it's true. He's human. He's prone to highs and lows like the rest of us. Thankfully, the rest of us don't have to go through a slump in front of a very scrutinizing, opinionated and unforgiving city. But Kovy doesn't have that luxury. He has to go through whatever he's going through in front of thousands of people.

No matter what type of slump Kovalev is in, I really don't think that it's true that he doesn't want to win the Stanley Cup and that's why he's playing like crap. Just because it's never been drilled into your head that the Stanley Cup is a must have if you want to be a hockey player when you were a kid, doesn't mean that you won't want to win it badly once you become a pro. If I can become obsessed with this team and wanting them to win the Stanley Cup badly almost overnight after spending my entire life not giving a hoot about hockey, then I think a hockey player - the guy who is the one doing the actual work on and off the ice - can grow to want to win the Stanley Cup. Just a little bit. I don't think there's really any player who joins the NHL with the intention of not giving it everything that they've got. That's ridiculous. No player is even going to make it into the NHL if they can't show some determination and a desire to play at their best. Somewhere along the way someone must have seen some talent in people like Avery and Darcy Tucker. No one brings a kid into the league simply because he's a super pain.

If a player has lost all his passion for the game than it has nothing to do with whether or not he grew up being indoctrinated that winning the Stanley Cup should be his only goal to pursue in life or not. There's a whole host of factors that go into why someone loses the will to want to try to play to the best of his abilities. And I'm not about to go and speculate on what those may be. There is a difference between caring a lot and producing good results and not caring one bit and not producing good results. We automatically assume bad or sloppy playing is coupled with the players not caring. It's not. Unless you can get into the mind of the players, you can't say for certain what's going on in their brains when they play.

Going back to that infuriating article, there was one bit where the author said that Carbonneau doesn't need to tell Kostopoulos or Begin to give 100% before a game. Carbo could attempt to pass on a message to a Russian like Sergei Kostitsyn, but the same message that whips up a Quebecois could have an reverse effect on a Russian (never mind the fact that Sergei is from Belarus and not Russia). Apparently this is "natural" because Carbo can't understand the mentality of a young European player whereas he'd be able to react better to a Quebecois because he's from here as well.

Now this is absolute rubbish.

If Carbo can't whip up all but the seven Quebecers on his team then he needs to be fired immediately. Nationality or coming from a certain background should have no bearing on whether a coach can inspire his players to perform the best to their abilities. If he can't "get" a player just because he grew up in a different environment than he did, then the only player that Carbo would be able to react properly to would be Brisebois because Breezer is only guy on that team who is remotely close to Carbo's age (there's about a ten year gap if you want to know) and they both grew up in the same province. No offense to Breezer or anything, but you do need more than one guy in his late thirties to play a hockey game. While I will concede that linguistic barriers are a realistic problem, I'd be pretty willing to bet a fair bit that Bruce Boudreau and Mike Babcock can't speak Russian and Swedish respectively, and yet somehow they get all those foreigners to play the way they want them to on most nights. Carbo should be able to exact what he wants out of his players regardless of what language they speak. I agree that the same thing you say to a Quebecois might not work on a Belorusian. But that's no excuse for why you can't get said Belorusian to be motivated to play. If Carbonneau has to send up smoke signals to communicate with his players and get them to work their butts off in a manner that produces results, then so be it. Whatever works.

I could write up an entire book on why I believe people throw out these blanket statements filled with generalizations that make no sense when you really think about, but I won’t. I’ll just say this: Stop bashing the Europeans on the team simply because they happen to be born in a different continent. Nationality has nothing to do with what’s going on right now. Blaming these guys like this is about the lowest form you can sink to. Even lower than calling out the goalie for an entire embarrassing loss. People here in Quebec (and the rest of Canada) are very knowledgeable when it comes to hockey and in particular when it comes down to the Les Glorieux. It's something that we take pride in. But saying things like this is not smart and no one should be proud of saying these things. Quite honestly, these sentiments are borderlining on bigotry. This is a fantastic game. One of my favorite aspects of it being able to share it with other people. There's no need to be selfish and hog it all to ourselves. If other people from around the world want to share in it, and be a part if it, then I believe that's fantastic and we should be more open. Thankfully just because a few people say stupid things doesn't mean that we all share those views.

Go Habs Go!