Look. We don't do football around here. I really dislike the game with a passion. However, every year on Superbowl day my dad becomes an avid football fan (which is followed by forgetting that the sport ever existed). It's quite hilarious actually. Apparently he thought it was just as hilarious that I was completely ignorant of the game.
Instead of annoying you all with a post that would go something like "OMG OVIE. OMG CAPS. OMG YES"... here's an abridged and slightly edited version of our conversation throughout some of the game.
Dad: Was that a field goal attempt?
Me: You're asking me?? Dad, there's no fields in hockey...
Dad: isn't that a great play?
Me: what's great about watching a guy suffer potentially long lasting brain damage as he's being tackled to the fake grass?
Dad: So that's great, right? (referring to some conversion thingy or other).
Me: uh, yeah sure, a guy falling is great. Hey, did you see any of Ovie's goals?
Dad: *babbling about football* what?
Me: Ovie. Goals.
Dad: oh, were they nice?
Me: YES. Well, two of them were. The other was just exciting because it tied the game.
Dad: Nice *goes back to babbling about football*
Dad: C'MON. You're supposed to stay with the guy *swears in French*
Me: um dad?
Dad: *swearing away in French* yes?
Me: How about I show you Ovie's goals, yeah?
Dad: Sure. C'MON DAMNIT. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeez.
Dad: So if it's an incomplete play the clock stops?
Me: um if Milan Lucic clocks Komisarek over the head, the clock stops. But if Blake Wheeler falls over on his own in a "fight" with O'Byrne the clock should definitely keep going because it's a huge waste of time.....
Me: never mind...
Dad: this game is over.
Me: but there's 44 seconds left?
Dad: It's over. Do the math.
Me: uh what am I adding?
Dad: Touch downs. The Colts needed two touch downs to tie the game.
Me: Uhuh.... okay...... now, how about you watch Ovie's game tying goal? Or I could find Eberle's game tying goal with 9 seconds left to tie it up with Russia two years ago.
Dad: *off babbling about football again*
Me: HEY LOOK HOCKEY COMMERCIAL ON TV.
Dad: *still babbling about football*
Me: *goes about checking Hammies stuff. Pauses. Looks up TV* oh wait, New Orleans won?! Oh that's good for them!!!
And that's how I spent my Superbowl Sunday. Fun, eh?
BRING BACK HOCKEY.