Hart - The player who's most responsible for EP's madness this season
- Ovie because those insane goals made EP go insane
- Kovy because all the time he hit the flipping post made EP go insane
- Puffy because he is talked about nonstop made EP go insane
Vezina - For the goalie that we wanted to hug the most for whatever reason *g*
- The Priceberg
Toskala - For the goalies who we've deemed to have failed epically in some respect
- Vesa Toskala for being a Leaf
- Squeaky Marty for being Squeaky Marty
- Cam Ward for that epic fail against the Puffles
Norris - We're giving this out to the person who we deemed was significantly anti-Puffles this season.
- Looch (fine, so he hasn't proven himself to be totally anti-Puffles yet. But in our imagination, he is crushing Puffy into the boards)
Calder- For the player who's attempt at a playoff beard we liked the most
- Peach Fuzz
- Captain Peachy
Lady Byng - for the player who amused us the most for various reasons
- Shorty Marty (for just skating around and amusing EP for no reason)
- Squeaky Marty (for those epic fails)
- Boring Marty (for those epic fails against the Whalercanes)
Selke - for the player with the lamest attempt at a fight
- Semin (vs StaalClone2)
- Puffy (vs Brett Mclean)
- Eggplant (vs Zetterburg)
Jack Adams - For the coach that annoyed us the most this year.
- Cory Clouston
- Ron Wilson
- Dan Bylsma
Bill Somethingrather - for the team that got smashed up the most and is not getting a top draft pick for it.
Lester B. Pearson - For the player who had us screaming the most at their awesome goals
Alex Ovechkin - While we wanted to swap places with this one and the Lester B. Pearson one, we decided to leave it as it. This is for the player who's name is apparently the most unpronounceable to the media.
- "Buffsagwkjeagsdkjhf" (Byfuglien)