Welcome to the Club of Epic Failures!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

You read it right. No hockey games on today is really killing me so I figured I'd start this club. This is a club for everyone in the NHL or other hockey leagues that has failed in some epic way. Today we're inducting some of our members. More will be added in the near future.

Brilliant Mastermind Behind the Club - EP

President: Martin Biron for failing epically in general. If we ever made a Club For Goalies That Like To Be Sieves, he'd be the president of that too.

Vice-President: The person in charge of the NHL schedule. Who puts the Habs and the Caps playing on the same days?

The guy below the Vice-President (is that the vice-vice-President? *g*) - The Leafs. Do I need to explain this one further? They'll have to figure out a way to share the position.

Senior Secretary to the President - Martin Brodeur. While I believe he's completely cursed right now, he's not getting off the hook for that epic loss in game 7 against the Whalercanes. So instead of making him the actual Vice-President, he gets to be the Senior Secretary to the President.

The Board of Directors for the "Special Failures Section" of the Club- The dudes in charge of the San Jose Sports & Entertainment Enterprises (they are the owners of the team)

Special Secretary to the Senior Board of Directors
for the "Special Failures" Section of the Club - Doug Wilson (the GM of the Sharks)

Almost-Cool Janitor for the Special Secretary to the Senior Board of Directors - Jumbo Joe (Thornton)

Head of Entertainment at the Club - John Tortorella. Every Club needs a head of entertainment. Torts is our guy because of his epic hissy fit which turned into his team getting an epic fail in the series.


Grrrreg said...

As much as it pains me, you just HAVE to find a place at the Boards of Directors for someone of the Sharks.

Eternal Pessimist said...


Grrrreg said...

Excellent! :D
"Almost-Cool Janitor for the Special Secretary to the Senior Board of Directors" is a great position for Jumbo Joe.
But I don't think he has ever swept anything or anyone, so I'm not sure he knows what is a sweep or how to use a broom! (I guess he just needs to talk to someone from Montreal...)

Eternal Pessimist said...

Good point... got any other ideas?

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