Random thoughts about the playoffs part 1

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I'm putting off going to sleep so I figured I'd throw this out...There will probably be a part 2 sometime in the near future....

Eastern Conference


Who's winning this: Bruins take it in 5

The Habs can win if
: They put poison in the Bruins' water bottles

It would be nice if...:
The Bruins dropped off the face of the earth

Things we expect to see:
  • Bloodbath
  • Price will play better than Thomas and still let in more goals
  • Lucic will hurt someone
  • Media will be stupid
Things we don't expect to see but would love to happen:
  • Thomas giving up softy from the neutral zone. Happened before. Can happen again!
  • Bruins blowing up like the Habs did last year versus them
  • D actually backs up Pricey

Who's winning: Caps in 6

Rags can win if: If they stuff Ovie, Semin and Backstrom in a trunk

It would be nice if: Someone smacked Avery upside the head

Things we expect to see:

  • Avery annoying Theodore
  • Rags trying to beat up Ovie
  • Semin NOT trying to "fight" Staal bro. no. 2
  • Caps not forgetting that if a Rag hits their own player who then knocks their goalie out of the net and the Rags score, it will count as a goal.
  • Tortorella going insane
Things we don't expect to see but would love to happen:
  • Avery going out with another spleen injury
  • Avery being beat up by Semin
  • Avery being beat up by Ovie
  • Ovie getting a hattrick versus the Rags

Who's winning: Someone in 5,6, or 7..... Haven't figured out who will win this yet...

Someone can win if:
They can stay awake. You stay awake you win. Simple.

It would be nice if:
this matchup actually turned into something interesting....

Things we expect to see:
  • Snooze fest
  • Brodeur doing something
  • Staal bro. no. 1 doing something
  • Brodeur being booed
  • Brodeur breathing
  • Brodeur not saving the puck
Things we don't expect to see but would love to happen:
  • These two teams actually made the game interesting by getting a little grumpy with each other
  • Brodeur being pulled

Who's winning: Pens in 6

Flyers can win if:
Scott Hartnell's hair scares the Penguins out of their minds

It would be nice if:
Crosby got the flu and sat out the entire series...

Things we expect to see:

  • A bloodbath
  • Fleury will outplay Biron like he always does because he's Fleury and Biron is a sieve
  • EP trying to balance her love for Fleury with her hate for the Penguins
  • Staal brother no. 3 will be forgotten in all the Malkin and Crosby hate
Things we don't expect to see but would (sorta) love to happen:
  • Biron displaying some of that very annoying talent against the Habs..... did I just say that?!
  • Richards gets a shorthanded goal in a game that the Flyers actually win
  • Me forgetting that I actually want to see a Flyers victory
Western Conference aka the conference that EP doesn't follow


Who's winning: Sharks in 5

Ducks can win if: they get a better name. I mean, DUCKS?

It would be nice if: The Sharks didn't have to wear teal.....

Things we expect to see:
  • Thornton making silly comments about how big and strong the Sharks are
  • Me hating the Sharks
  • Everyone declaring the Sharks the major favorites in the entire league
Things we don't expect to see but would love to happen:
  • Ducks stick it to the Sharks and go to a game 6 or 7
  • Me not caring about this series as supposed to angsting over whether Thornton will get kicked around

Who's winning:
Wings in 6

Jackets can win if: Mason drinks a lot of Red Bull and Osgood continues as usual...

It would be nice if: Osgood and/or Conklin didn't look silly compared to Mason

We expect to see:
  • goaltending being a major factor in this series
  • a potential meltdown for the Jackets in their first ever playoff series
  • Datsyuk getting at least three sick goals
  • Wings not being upset
Things we don't expect to see but would love to happen:
  • Osgood actually doesn't give up 10 goals in a period
  • The Wings don't underestimate the Jackets as supposed to going into it with the "been there done this *yawns* like you're going to beat us?" attitude
  • Jackets implode

Who's winning: Canucks in 5

Blues can win if: They send Luongo to Australia

It would be nice if: The Blues extended the Canucks to 7 and even took the series

We expect to see:
  • Those creepy twins being a factor for the Canucks
  • Luongo being good
  • TSN loving Vancover and wishing that they were the only team that existed in Canada besides the Leafs
  • Blues making a go of it
  • Me forgetting who every Blues player is..
Things we don't expect to see but would love to happen:
  • Me remembering some Blues players
  • Those creepy twins implode
  • Sundin does nothing at all


Who's winning:
Flames in 7

Hawks can win if: They don't get run over by Dion Phaneuf first Edit: apparently he's injured so... uh... yeah... oh well... the Flames will have to come up with another way of burning the Hawks

It would be nice if: This wasn't the "battle of the godawful goalhorns".....

We expect to see:
  • sort of experience pull through
  • the Hawks celebrating being in the playoffs
  • Toews and Kane looking a little lost at times
  • someone actually caring about this series
  • there are actually enough players to play
Things we don't expect to see but would love to happen:
  • Everyone staying hush about the Hawks making the playoffs


The playoffs sound boring right now. Someone please go out and prove me wrong and do some upsetting while playing some entertaining hockey.


Number31 said...

Phaneuf has some mysterious injury so we'll see if he even makes it in there first.

Maybe he found his eyebrows and the shock broke his legs or something. Dunno...

Eternal Pessimist said...

Haha.... missed that bit about him being injured (I really do not want the Western Conference at all...). Oh well. *revises that slightly*

Burgundy said...

Nice post! I agree with most of your predictions... but I seriously think Columbus could take out Detroit. Mason will destroy Osgoode and be the difference! And I don't see Chicago losing to Calgary - they in too much of a tailspin.

Like your thoughts about the Pitt/Phi

Eternal Pessimist said...

I think for Detroit it'll be up to their guys up front of Osgood to pull through. I believe that if they can pull together as a team then they can beat Mason. Mason can steal a game or two for the Jackets, but I don't think that the Jackets as a team have what it takes to take out the Wings if the Wings play like they're supposed to.

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