Hammies win the Gardiner Cup!

Eeeee!

• Brrrrrrrrock Trotter had TWO goals! Although Flandersdude didn't do his whole "Brrrrrrrock Trotter scooooores!" because he was busy talking and didn't really notice Brrrrrrock Trotter scoring until after he scored. Derp.
• Benoit also had a goal!
• The Hammies shutout streak ended when some Marlie went in on Ced and scored. Poop.
• the Scots seemed to be fully behind the Hammies (or at least the guys behind Flandersdude were). And they wanted blooood too.
• They pretty much had it when Giliati tried to fight White but he ended up getting beaten to a pulp instead (that's good in case you forgot that White is a Hammie).
• I want Pogge back for the Marlies. Reimer did a good job keeping the Hammies from winning 7-1. I'm sure Pogge would've let us have a couple of more goals.
• A ref grabbed a Marlie and it tried to fight back before it realized that it wasn't a Hammie... Oops.
• With the Hammies and the Marlies getting in each other's faces all night, the announcers started wondering what they were talking about. Scottishdude said they were talking about haggis. Yes, White must've dumped Giliati because the latter had stolen some haggis from the Hammies. Yup.
• Quote of the night:"Bloom had his helmet popped off like the top of a dandelion"

So now the Hammies will come home, play a pre-season game against the Marlies and then get ready for their opening game against the.... Marlies in Marlieland. Um. Are there any other teams out there in the AHL? Any at all? I'm already tired of the Marlies...

Fail of the night: Leafs/Sabres game tonight. Lalime tried to take Vesa's spot as the failiest goalie in the NHL but there was NO way Vesa was going to let that happen. Nuhuh. Vesa won the battle of the failiest goalie as the Sabres slugged out a 7-6 win. And this was after the Leafs were leading 2-0 after the first period. Hah.

Regular season here we come!

The Habs finished up their last pre-season game with a win. After getting demolished in the first period, it sounded like they were pretty lucky just to be down 2-0. Thankfully, Pricey decided to show up and that ended the Sabres goal-scoring fiesta. As the game wasn't on the radio and I got bored and put on the Leafs/Wings game (shut up!), it was kinda hard to follow the Habs exactly.I can tell you that Pyatt was demolished by Kaleta and that O'Byrne tried to demolish Kaleta and that both took a pile of minutes in penalties. I can tell you Gio had a PP goal in the second period, but I seriously can't tell you how he got it. Turtle-Pleky got an assist! Lapierre tied it up with 22 seconds to go in the second after yet another penalty was about to be assessed to the Sabres (really, it was a bit of a parade to the penalty box for everyone tonight). Pricey did most of the heavy lifting to make sure the Sabres didn't come back with more goals. Annnnnnnnnnnnnd GUESS WHO GOT THE GAME WINNING GOAL? Steewieee the rock headed almost-enforcer! Aiie! Metro ended the night with two assists as well! Wheee!

On the other side of the pond, the Hammies did what they were supposed to and demolished the Belfast Giants by 7-0. They'll play the hated Marlies (who only won 6-1 over the Edinburgh Capsomethings) for the Gardiner Cup tomorrow. The match was obviously lopsided although the Giants goalie did a fantastic job considering he faced a whopping 52 shots compared to just 14 for the Hammies goalies (somewhere Jaro is sadly shaking his head in understanding). He did a good job of keeping the Hammies' scoring down to just one goal after the first period after White scored on the PP. Unfortunately for him, it fell apart in the second period when PK did all the work only to have Russel take credit for their second goal just 12 seconds into the second period. Brrrrock Trotter added one and Russell took more credit for another goal after PK did all the work again. Johnansson, Anderson and Brrrock Trotter (again) would score in the third to completely stomp on the Giants. I really want to trade the Marlies for the Scottish announcer dudes. Flandersdude even had a brainmeld with one of them as Giants goalie almost allowed another goal.

Annnnnnnnnnd Hockey Night in Toronto is back. And guess what they were playing tonight? Hmm yeah. Leafs/Wings game. Meh. Wasn't really paying attention other than to diss the Leafs and scream at the Komisaurus.

REGULAR SEASON HERE WE COME.

And yes, this post is lame. I'm tired. Pooh.

Oh no, Roger Federer can NOT sing

The man may be perfect in tennis but oh my god, can he NOT sing. Not at all.

So excuse me while I just sit here and die LAUGHING at him.

Hammies are baaaaack!

Eeee Hammies squashed the Marlies 1-0 in their pre-season game. YAY! Missed the first half but it was SO great to hear Flandersdude again. And he got some help from some Scottish dude was pretty awesome too. Hey, how about we trade the Marlies for the Scottish dude? The Scottish dude said people in Edinburgh hate all the other teams anyway so the Marlies would fit right in with the hatefest.... but then I'd have no one to hate.... Oh well.

A few things to note:

• They seem to like the Hammies. I heard on the radio the other day that the dudes in Scotland were pretty insistent on having the Hammies come to play.
• More evidence that they're loved in Scotland: They had 300 kids at the their morning skate. Maybe we could loan some of these kids to the Coyotes?
• The radio kept cutting out. Apparently this was an issue in Edinburgh. Only mentioning this 'cause Flandersdude never knew when it cut out so it was amusing as he tried to figure it out.
• The ref in Scotland decided to make up the rules. He apparently made a movement that looked like "he was trying to land a plane". Play stopped but nobody could figure out what the deal was. Not Flandersdude who wondered if this was some special Scottish rule nor the Scottish dude who insisted this wasn't a Scottish thing either.
• Why was there a guy on the Marlies called "Hamilton"? Seriously. "Here comes Hamilton for Toronto". GUHHHHH!

And yeah...

To sum up the Habs game:

Sobotka..... be thankful you're still in one piece after hurting my goalie tonight. Be very thankful.

...although despite the uh loss, I liked a lot of what I was seeing. So. Yeah. Thank you Sergei for the goal. Thank you Turtle-Pleky for helping on that goal. Thank you PP for not looking like the OTHER team was on the PP. Thank you Gomer for the awesome PK at the end of the game. And yeah. Someone please smash Sobotka next time. No matter what league he's in. Smash him. And yes, this is coming from someone who actually almost likes the little Czech bulldozer.

Let's just celebrate the Hammies coming back and Jaro not being dead.

Ole?

Oleeeeeeeeeee!

Where to start......

• hockey is indeed more fun once you've had something to drink.
• The Habs HAD to win this one because Greg was at his first and only hockey game of the year.
• The ice looks awful.
• The Habs looked awful for the first two periods minus Gionta and Pricey.
• Okay so when they said the Habs were being kept to the perimeter for the most part, they really didn't want to mean that the Habs were being kept along the boards IN THEIR OWN ZONE. Can we please stop leaving the Pens RIGHT in front of Price?
• Price with a save!
• Gui smashed someone!
• At least we're not losing. But we're not winning either. Guhh.
• PRICE WITH ANOTHER AWESOME SAVE.
• Can someone smash Crysob? PLEASE? Don't make me throw something at him.
• Oh hey, Habs scored a goal. Gio with a goal! Oh.My. God. We're winning?
• Don't get all smiley yet, Gio.
• Gui smashed someone!
• Okay here comes the second period. Maybe the Habs will wake up this time?
• Erm maybe not. Was that Eggplant with a goal right after the Habs just finished their dismal power play?
• ERM HELLO HABS? Why are the Habs losing 2-1 now?!
• Oh yes.... now they're booing. Stuff it, idiots, it's a pre-season game.
• Mind you... .it is pretty bad. I think they've forgotten who they're own teammates are as they keep passing to the Puffles.
• Then again.... they're probably sleep deprived.
• I wonder how the Caps are doing? Guh, they're losing just to make me mad.
• Oh. Someone hit Crysob! YES! YES! YES!
• Erm... Carle is scaring me.... as is Belle.
• Umm can we please remember that the guys in RED are our teammates and not the guys in white?
• hello? Pass to the guy in the red. not the guy in the white.
• Price with a save!
• ...yawns....
• Some Hab in the box for smacking a Pen in the face....
• Wait. FOUR FREAKING MINUTES? Are you kidding me?!!!!
• Bring on the third period.... please!
• Okay... why are the Habs sucking? Oh. We're not sucking. We're on the PK. Right. Sorry.
• OH OH GIO! GOMEZ!
• SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!
• 2-2!
• Too early to be singing Ole.
• umm what's happening? Why are we all standing? Seriously?!
• GOAL?!!!! WHO? HOW? WHEN? OLE?!
• Oh Gui puts it over Floppy Flambe's Apprentice. Whoo!
• Hey, Andrei, I see you with the assist. Are you trying to make up for your awful game from last March when I was there? 'cause I'm STILL waiting for you to make it up to me.
• Seriously, I should be put in charge of playing the music at the Bell Centre. It wouldn't be half as deafening if I was in charge. Guhh.
• OH OH OH OH NOW WHAT IS HAPPENING?
• GIOOOOOOO WITH ANOTHER ONE?!
• NOW WE CAN SING OLE!
• ummm PP for the Pens?
• Ummm goal for the Pens with 3 mins left? Do not blow it Habs.
• AIE stop giving the dingbats the puck *closes eyes*
• Game over. Habs win. Ole ole ole. So awesome.
• OLE! Best. Song. Ever.

In other news:

• Habs finally assigned 17 players to the AHL so the Hammies can have a team as they head off to Scotland tomorrow. OLE!
• Habs also assigned Bell and Nielson after the game. Not surprised. However, I'm not sure why Carle is still there. He's scaring me in a very bad way.
• Mayer and Ced will be the goalies headed off to Scotland while Sanford stays put for now.
• Patches is injured.
• We (the Juniors) got Jake Allen back from the Blues. Thank you Blues.

Limmericks before bed!

The Habs went to the land of Quebec
Where the Bruins were waiting on deck
Jaro was left on his own
While Tukka sat on his thrown
Such was the end of the Habs in Quebec

Although really, it wasn't as awful as it could've or should've been. At least it was entertaining. Although I think most of the non-Habs were cheering for the Bruins. But whatever.

And.. Look, I really love seeing all these Hammies, but Flandersdude needs a team so he can tweet about it in Scotland.

Say what?!

YES FLANDERS DUDE HAS TWITTER. Although he's going by the really lame name of "dogsplaybyplay". What is that? Guhh. But yeah. FLANDERSDUDE IS ON TWITTER.

And the Hammies are on Facebook if you care about Facebook.

Let the cuts begin! + bed time story. Kinda.

....because seriously, the Hammies need a team to send to Scotland, yes?! They have nobody to take with them right now. And how exactly do you beat the baby Leafs when you have no team in which to beat them? Exactly. YOU NEED A TEAM TO WIN. And you need those epically awesome Hammies to do it. Okay? Okay.

Now that we'ce settled that one......... Might I ask the lovely people of Montreal to PLEASE CALM DOWN. C'mon, it's a PRESEASON game. A game in which the Habs still haven't put their full roster on the ice. A game in which the announcers and Sens fans would LOVE to have count but won't count.

And do NOT tell me that the Booins beat us 8-0 in the preason and then decimated us in the regular season. Just don't say that. Yes, you Booins fans lurking around here. I MEAN YOU.

ANYWAY!

The few things that were downright ugly and I don't want to see being carried into the regular season are:

• odd man rushes. Seen enough of those last year. Didn't like them.
• Special teams fail. Seen enough of that last year too. Fix it.
• idiotic penalties. Who do you think you are? The Flyers?! Stop it.
• O'Byrne fighting. Don't do it. Please.
• I had no cider.

What I did like (and yes, there was stuff to like so stuff it and continue reading):

• Patches destroying Kovy. Patches has been smashing up his own potential teammates for the last two weeks. It was awesome that he finally got to smash up the opposition. And hey, Kovy is one of THEM now, so he's fair game.
• Johannson... Johansson... Johan... whatever. You know who I mean.
• um yeah... there might've been something else but I can't really think of it

And now.... Before I leave you all so you may go and do something more productive. Here is a bedtime story. Seriously. A certain sleepy Bruins fan demanded a story. So I obliged. Kinda.

***** BED TIME STORY ******

There once was a kid called Briere. He was a midget who thought he was so awesome. Not that midgets aren't awesome. I'm short. And awesome. Kinda. Maybe. Whatever. Moving on. One day he somehow found his way onto a team called the Flyers. We're not sure HOW he got on the team. Only that he did. He used his teammates as body guards when they were off the rink. ANYWAY. The only thing you need to know about the Flyers it that they're orange. And have a weird symbol on their shirts. ANYWAY. One day Briere the Midget decided that he wanted to take on the Evil Leafs of Toronto. It was a stupid idea because the Leafs had magically turned into goons over the summer. Kinda like how people turn into wolves at full moon, you know? But being the new dictator of the Flyers that he was, he 1) had no idea what he was talking about and 2) still abused his rights as supreme dictator of the Flyers anyway and made them all go on this little expedition.

When the Flyers arrived to face the Evil Leafs, they appeared to be well prepared. They fought long and hard with the Leafs. Throwing punches every which way. Seriously. In the midst of battle when all seemed lost, Briere the Midget found an open space (well, when you're that short, there's a lot of space) and grabbing the magic black disk of doom he threw it into the net behind The King of the Failtenders. At that moment it looked like the Flyers would have the victory. They looked unbeatable. The Leafs looked positively dejected. Ready to give up.

It was at this moment - right when Briere the Midget and his troops thought they had the victory - that their dear leader did something horrendously stupid. He tripped up one of the Leafs top generals. Of course it was a complete accident because the Leaf didn't see Briere running around his feet, but fall he did. And as he fell, he landed right on top of Briere the Midget. Squashing him to death.

It didn't take the troops on both sides long to realize that the Flyers leader was dead. And suddenly the Leafs found new energy. They attacked the suddenly disoriented Flyers. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! The Flyers fell one by one until only Boucher the Floppy Goalie was left. He didn't last long either. As Khadri came running towards him, he ran away, back to Flyers country to tell of what happened. And that was the end of the Flyers.

Now every town herald in the wicked land of Toronto will be proclaiming their victory and thinking they now have a shot at winning the much revered Stanley Cup. The Holy Grail of Hockey. The Shiny. With this victory over the Flyers, it would now only be a matter of time before the Shiny returned to Leafsland....

In their flipping dreams, maybe.

But yeah.

Whatever.

Leafs stink.

The lesson learned here is that if you're a Briere, don't get stepped on at the most inconvient time. Seriously.

The End.

***

In other news:

• Leafs beat the Flyers. Bet you didn't guess that one.
• BingySens beat the Wilksiewhatsits Pens.
• Caps beat the Hawks in OT. Missed it all.
• Juniors got beat up by the Huskies and their awful goal horn. Guh. Stop putting jet lagged goalies in nets. Jeez. And someone teach the guys on Team990 how to say Berube's name.

cider + habs winning + juniors winning = YAY!

You heard me. Habs victories are always much nicer when you've had a tad bit to drink (umm, Price, you didn't hear that, okay?). Despite Ottawa icing their better players compared to the Habs "B team", the Habbies managed to pull out a win.

For the most part, it was pretty sad. Michalek got a goal within the first three mins whilst the Sens were on the PP (something that they seemed to be on for quite a while in the first period). Second period picked up slightly with Nielson getting into a couple of fights. Seriously, I'm trying to find how exactly where we got this guy from..... Skip forward to Ben Maxwell's AWESOME goal and yeah, it was really time to break out the cider. So pretty. So awesome. I love Maxwell. Well, I loved him as a Hammie and yeah.... moving on to more cider and more PPs and more missed chances and.... just when I was pleading with the Habs to end the game so I could go home at a decent hour, guess who scores?

Oh yeah.

Gionta.

So really most of the newbies have scored/been part of goals on the last two games. So. Cool.

Patches and Turtle-Pleky were a little sad not have goals but hey, there's plenty of time in the REAL season to do this, yes? Yes.

While I'm not really jumping up and down too much - hey, as lovely as it is to see hockey on TV again, it's still a pre-season game - I'm still happy for the boys! hockeyhockeyhockeyhockey!

In other news

• Leafs trade away their first round picks for the next three years and a second round pick to nab Kessel. They then feel motivated to make a go of it against the Pens and beat them 3-2. Or 4-3. Or something with a 3 in it.
• Panthers got blanked by the Oilers. Clearly, pre-season games aren't their thing.
• The Blues decimated the Avs 6-2. Ow. A baby Junior goalie was in nets for part of that game too!
• Phoenix is beating Anaheim. Derp. Derp. Derp.
• I don't really care about anyone else right now
• JUNIORS BEAT THE......FOREURS! 6-5. In OT. Hrm. Can we say "scoring fest"??! What were they doing putting Berube in there?! He just got back from the LA training camp. Guuh.

On a whole: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! HOCKEY!