Hey Heatley!

If your idiotic team tries to use my team as a means to ship you off to the Shark Tank, I will hunt you down and smack you with a plastic spoon.

You have been warned.

If I learned one thing from the Montreal media.....

With rumor season now in full swing, it's time for everyone to crazy. "Kovalev offered a 6 million dollar contract AND the captaincy?", "Koivu going to Minnesota!","Capitals on steroids", "Komisarek turns down a 6 million dollar contract". It goes on and on and on and on.

The one thing I learned from the media here is that you have to take everything you read about hockey - and in particular, the Habs - with a grain of salt (okay more like a huge tub of salt). When there are no quotes coming specifically from people directly involved, then you have to assume that it's not true until someone comes around an confirms them. A lot of the rumors that we hear are plain false and the ones that do have a grain of truth to them are blown way out of proportion. I'm also particularly wary when the so-called sources are "sources who told the media in another country on the other side of the world". I'm sure things get reported wrong in the Russian media and I'm sure by the time it gets back to us, something is lost in translation. I think someone at one point described it as the game "broken teleophone" and that's a perfect analogy.

Maybe the Canadiens did offer Kovalev a 6 million one year contract. Maybe they don't plan on resigning Koivu. Maybe Komisarek did turn down an offer that seems to change from four million to six million dollars. But until someone from the Canadiens or one of these guy's agents comes around and says "yes, that's true", I'm not going to give them too much serious thought.

It's just too easy to get caught up in the media furor that descends on any and every bit of information and then proceeds to turn it into the major earth shattering news of the day. And there is really no point is getting overly excited about it. Take a deep breath and relax.

So Roy doesn't want the job now...

Via ESPN

After deliberating for nearly two weeks, the Hall of Fame goaltender told the Avs late Tuesday night that he will not accept their offer, the Denver Post reported on Wednesday.

Roy cited family reasons for his decision, the newspaper reported. He will continue as coach of the Quebec Remparts of the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League, the newspaper said.

"I felt pretty comfortable moving up, but the family situation is just not quite there for me right now," Roy told the Post on Wednesday morning. "When it comes to family, it's always easier to make a decision. But don't get me wrong here, I have the Avalanche at heart. There's two very special organizations for me -- Montreal and Colorado -- and it's never easy. I would have seen it as a great challenge.

"But the door is not closed, that's for sure."

Roy told the newspaper that it was important that he remain close to his three children, for various reasons.

"Jon is starting a new career right now in music and I think it's important for me to be around him," he told the Post. "Frederick is going to Santa Monica to study and give a try as an actor, and I just want to make sure that I'm there to support them. If I were to take that [Avs] job, it would have been very demanding on my time.

"Everybody who knows me knows, if I would have taken this job, I would have worked extremely hard at it and it would have been a great challenge."

Tony Granato remains Colorado's coach. The Avs are still in the process of searching for a new general manager.

I'm reading "Colorado is like WAY too far away. But if the Canadiens want to offer me a job........ But if they don't offer me a job then you're perfectly free to offer it to me again."

I'm not pleased by this. At all. Ick.

More rumors and... Laraque's a vegetarian?

Last thing first, I think. I admit it, I've been kind of hard on Laraque this year. I was not very impressed with his role on the team this year. I thought - and still think - this whole code thing is silly. But as much as I don't like him as a player, he just earned some points as a human being for at least considering going vegetarian. Obviously, I'm a vegetarian - mostly vegan if we want to be picky about the wording - and I've never considered hockey players as the type to actually think about what they're putting in their mouths. Especially not a guy like Laraque who has this whole tough guy reputation on the ice. So, yeah, kudos to Georges for at least taking the time to think about what happens to the animals before they make it to a dinner plate. And take a couple of extra points for being grossed out by it. Hell, take a few more for making me be impressed by you for once.

Okay. Enough about that. Back to rumor season because I'm having so much fun with it.

This is the little rumory thing that has Guy Boucher in as the potential head-coach in Hamilton, that I mentioned yesterday. Just once, I'd like to know how people come up with this stuff.

The Swedish media (hopefully more reliable than the Russian media) has the Habs signing a 1 year two-way contract with Mikael Johansson. As per Habs Inside/out

Johansson, who's 5'10" and weighs 182 lbs., has scored 95 points in 203 games in the highest Swedish league with Farjestad. Johansson was originally drafted by Detroit in 2003 (9th round). He had an unspectacular 6 goals and 28 assists in 49 games and was minus-4 with Farjestad this year, down from 15-24 and plus-11 in '07-'08. He was 1+3 in 11 playoff games.

Habs Inside/Out also has the ever reliable non-specific "Russian Media" reporting that Alexei Yemelin negotiating with the Canadiens.

Speaking of the Habs....This site has the Russian media saying:

Alexei Kovalev has been offered a one-year, $6-million by the Canadiens and could be the team's captain next season. Both he and Saku Koivu are unrestricted free agents so this is possible and $6-million would be a raise from the $4.5-million a season deal he was playing on.

And while we're talking about Russians and the Russian media....This Russian site has Fedorov close to signing a deal with Metallurg Magnitorgorsk (you might remember that as the team that Malkin played for). No I didn't read it in Russian. I cheated and saw it on puckdaddy. However, Tarik El-Bashir at the Washington Post says it's not a done deal and Fedorov would still like to play with Washington.

AND proof that Blersus sucks

Via CBC

Hockey fans in the United States aren’t the only ones struggling to find the Stanley Cup playoffs on their televisions.

The Wings found themselves in the same boat while staying in Chicago when seeking to watch the eastern conference final etween the Pittsburgh Penguins and Carolina Hurricanes.

“I haven’t even seen a game yet,” Osgood said. “The hotel we were in doesn’t have Versus.

“I saw a bit of the last game in a restaurant from a distance, but that was it. I put it on my phone live and try to get the updates as it goes along.

“I haven’t seen them, but I’ve read about them on my phone.”

As fun as all of this is, I'd like to see some more nutty stuff. Like, maybe Roy is being offered the job as the next Commish. Now that I could find amusing...

Insane rumor of the day: Roy as headcoach AND GM?

Via TSN:

Patrick Roy could be head coach and general manager of the Colorado Avalanche if he accepts the posts from his former club.

According to Ruefrontenac.com - a Montreal-based news website - Avs president Pierre Lacroix has offered Roy both jobs and that Roy wants to hire former teammate Sylvain Lefebvre and Drummoundville head coach Guy Boucher as his assistants.

The GM posting became vacant after Lacroix fired Francois Giguere last month and Tony Granato is still the team's head coach.

The Montreal report added that Craig Billington - the Avs' vice president of hockey operations and Roy's former backup, could serve as a co-general manager.

The Denver Post reported last week that the Avalanche offered Roy the coaching job, and added there was a possibility he might get the vacant general manager's job as well.

Ruefrontenac.com also reports that Lacroix is offering Roy almost full control over the club's hockey operations as a way of trumping any potential offer from his other former team - the Montreal Canadiens.

Um.. What?! I mean....Whatever keeps him from coming to Montreal. Still....wow... And I heard a rumor that Boucher was headed to Hamilton. Which would be nicer. Don't you just love rumor season?

Question to ponder: What would it be like to work with your former backup? For some reason I just can't picture that working out so well. Maybe it's because I can't imagine Roy getting along with anybody to begin with?

Rumor of the Day

Hey, crap-rumors season is upon us. So let's have some fun with it. For today's rumor I have this:

The wonderful never pessimistic Montreal Gazette is saying that there was a report in some Russian sports site that Vyacheslav Bykov (you know him as the guy who lead team Russia to two successful crushings of Team Canada at the worlds) and his assistant Igor Zakharian were offered jobs as coaches for the Canadiens...

Say what?!

Yeah, apparently Zakharian said that both he and Bykov were offered the job by the president of the Canadiens but they turned it - and several other offers from different teams in different countries - down for some higher paying job in Russia.

Granted, this is coming from the Gazette which is coming from some Russian site which is coming from Zakharian.... but this is why it's called "Crap rumor season".

At least I can say that Bykov would have had one thing going for him: He speaks French. Apparently he learned it after taking a job in Switzerland a while back. So he'd fit Boivin's "we must have a French speaking coach" criteria. Although, I don't think having a French-speaking Russian was quite what he had in mind.....