Jaro the chocolate milk drinking goalie

Umm yeah..... Couldn't help it..... Yes, those are milk cartons sitting around.....

Halak is like, totally, such a jerk

Halak is clearly a jerk.

How else could you describe a guy who so very clearly wants to skip out of town right now? His intentions were made clear after a report surfaced from the always accurate and unbiased source from ruefrontenac. com. The reports (from the site's resident Gainey lover, Betrand Raymond) say that Gainey is shopping Halak around to different teams.

Shopping Halak?! But why would Gainey do such a thing?

Like I said, Halak's intentions were made clear after he was mobbed by the media after practice today. In his interview - and no, the media didn't harass him until he finally gave them an answer. Why would they do such a thing? This is the Montreal media we're talking about, folks -  he said that that the matter was "between his agent and Gainey and that he didn't want to talk about it". By saying this he clearly stated that he wants to be traded right now or else he sneak out in the middle of the night and join another team. He's clearly saying "I'd rather retire than be a backup goalie for the rest of my life".

What a jerk.

When he says that he "wants to play more", he's so obviously being a total ingrate. What do you mean you don't like sitting on the bench for two weeks in a row? What the hell is your problem? Jeez. Get lost! Lots of goalies sit on the bench. You know what this reminds me of? Scott Clemmensen. He was a real jerk too. Clemmensen played in a grand total of 13 games one season and 6 the next when he was a Devil the first time around. He skipped town to go play with the Toronto Maple Leafs. He ended up playing 40 games with the Marlies. What kind of cruel person steals the starting job from a great goalie like Justin Pogge? Heartless, I tell you. But it gets worse. Clemmensen goes back to New Jersey where he injures Brodeur so he could take over his job. How cruel! Seriously, Halak is like, so taking after Clemmensen here.

What an epic jerk.

All this time when he's just gone about his job without complaining, he was secretly plotting against Price and the Canadiens! Now the truth comes out! How long before reports come out saying that he's been paying Gorges to injure Price? I'm betting it won't be all that long to be honest. Just you wait! I mean really, why else would Gorges appear to be trying to kill his own goalie game after game?

When you hear Halak say that he's a "team guy" and that the team "winning is more important than who's in nets" he's getting it all wrong in translation in his little brain. What he really means is that "I want to be number one or else I'll throw a hissy fit. I hate Carey Price and I think Keith Ballard should take him out next time we play the Panthers".

Wow. What. A. Jerk.

Obviously he has huge issues speaking English and doesn't know to form a negative sentence in the language because when he says that he "likes Montreal" he means that he hates it and that he thinks the fans are horrible and he wishes he was back in Slovakia. It's amazing how long sentences become when you fully translate them from semi-English into full English.

And to cap it all off? He's totally diminished his trade value by publicly demanding for a trade. We could have had Briere! Or Claude Giroux! Or we could have packaged him off with those godawful Kostitsyn brothers for VINNY. But nooooooo.... now that he's so obviously proven to be a cancer in the locker room by publicly demanding a trade, his trade value has gone down, down, down, to the point where Gainey might only get a second round pick for him. Oh the horror of it all.

What a selfish jerk.

So now that we know what a jerk he is, let's all write up loads of articles and blogposts about what a moron he is and how he totally deserves to be dumped. Because dear people, Halak is CLEARLY out to destroy Price, he hates our city and he clearly whines and complains too much. Let's sick him on another team. Let them deal with this total jerk. Because clearly, Halak does not deserve to be a Hab.

[and you're damn right this was full of sarcasm. Just putting that out there in case anyone thinks other wise]

I go to see baby Habs and guess who shows up instead?

Allow me to go fangirlish on you for one second...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HABBIES GOALIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay.

Really. I was kinda hoping that they would show up for an informal practice but I wasn't counting on it but umm yeah.. they showed up. Right as I was about to watch the baby Habs. Baaad timing. Oh well. I'm sure the babies won't mind as I kinda already took pics of them on Monday. Added incentive to make it to the NHL: People won't abandon you're practice for the big boys' practice. ANYWAY.

A few thoughts:

• Shawn Belle was there... which I'm only mentioning because I wasn't expecting him to be there? Why is he here? And why wasn't he with the rookies?
• Stewie and Dagger were there.
• I didn't see either Andrei or Gomer there. Although maybe I didn't recognize Gomer. I was a hell of a time trying to remember who the heck was who (no names, no numbers on the practice jerseys).
• Pricey looked perky. Haven't seen him look perky in a while. It was nice.
• Gionta is short. For real. I'd love to see him standing next to Misshy (Missiaen). Just for the heck of it.

More pics here. And yes, they are mostly of Price and Halak. Sue me.

Oh look, some (minor) recognition for Jaro!

Normally I wouldn't be paying these lists of the top 10 players from each country that the NHL has been releasing but when they mention my little Slovak goalie, I have to say something, right? Right. Here's the list from the NHL (with a little editting from yours truly).

1. Zdeno Chara, D, Boston — Chara, the two-time winner of EP's "Ugh, can we pretend he doesn't exist?" list. And he is generally disliked with a small passion here on Shifts and Sets.

2. Marian Hossa, F, Chicago — Recent surgery to repair a small tear in his right rotator cuff certainly won’t keep him off the "what a douchebag" talks that continue to swil since he dumped the Pittsburgh Penguins for the Detroit Red Wings and then dumped them for a stupid contract with the Chicago Blackhawks.

3. Marian Gaborik, F, New York Rangers — The two-time NHL All-Star has reached 30 goals in five of his eight seasons. We suspect that he would have a lot more if he wasn't always broken.

4. Pavol Demitra, F, Vancouver — In his first season with the Canucks, EP had no idea that he existed until the playoffs hit.

5. Michal Handzus, F, Los Angeles — The 6-foot-4, 218-pound center is frequently forgotten by EP.

6. Lubomir Visnovsky, D, Edmonton — A dislocated shoulder limited him to 50 games in 2008-09, but he still produced many tongue injuries as people tried to figure out how to say his name.

7. Andrej Meszaros, D, Tampa Bay — He was another poor soul who was forced to play in the sandy beaches of Tampa Bay. We almost feel bad for him.

8. Milan Jurcina, D, Washington — Jurcina appeared in a career-high 79 games last season and set personal highs in assists (11) and points (14). He was first on the Caps and among Slovaks with 131 blocked shots and second with 157 hits. We would like to thank him for giving our little goalie a nice WIN over the Caps when he tripped up Sergei who still managed to score the game winner.

9. Marek Svatos, F, Colorado — The 27-year-old, a top-six forward with the Avalanche, has registered at least 30 points in his four NHL seasons.blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

10. Jaroslav Halak, G, Montreal — The 271st pick in the 2003 Entry Draft took over as the backup to Carey Price following the trade of Cristobal Huet. He went 18-14-1 with a 2.86 goals-against average and .915 save percentage in 34 games last season (not bad when you consider just how much NOBODY showed up to play when he was in nets!), and played for Slovakia at the 2007 World Championship. He also participated in the 2009 World Championship were he was Avery'd upside the head by his own teammate. We still wuv our little goalie very muchly and we would appreciate it if the stupid idiots would stop trying to turn him into tradebait.

Huzzah for Jaro!

And here go the "trade Jaro" rumors again....

Yesterday, the Canadiens signed former Canuck, Curtis Sanford to a year contract with a cap hit of $600,000. Suddenly this turned into a "Gainey wants to trade for some 2nd line center and he'll use Halak in the trade". HUH? I admit that I didn't get this one at first. Not because I wanted to believe that Gainey sign Halak for the rest of his career but because it doesn't make sense to me...

Because I feel like arguing and am enjoying sitting on my deck much too much... You get a boring stupid argument for why Sanford won't/shouldn't be Price's backup:

1. The Bulldogs need another goalie. According to this article in the Spec, Marc Denis is not coming back to the Bulldog's lineup. That leaves the Cedric Desjardins as the main goalie, but right now there's nobody else. From what I understand, none of the goalies from the farm are ready to make the jump to the AHL. So the Bulldogs needed another goalie. Sanford is that goalie.
   
   
2. Halak has played more games in the NHL/AHL in the last two years than Sanford has. But apparently because Sanford has some NHL experience, that means he can easily make the jump to the Habs team and therefore Gainey is trading Halak away. While it's true that Sanford has played more games in the NHL than Halak has (Sanford has 108 to Halak's 54) overall, in the last two years, Sanford has played in 35 games to Halak's 40 (Sanford also played in 16 games in the AHL to Halak's 28 during that span). Halak's stats are also better in his NHL games than Sanford's were.
   
   
3. Sanford is injury prone. What Sanford's numbers also don't say is that he is injury prone. In his first stint with the Blues in 2003, he went down with an ankle injury. He would play 65 games in the 06 and 07 seasons but he went down with an ankle sprain in 06 and had groin issues through 07. He filled in for Luongo (when Luongo was out for an extended period of time) in the past season but ended up suffering back spasms in one game and was eventually placed on IR with another groin injury in December.
   
   
4. Yes, Price could benefit from an experienced goalie.... and yes, Sanford has more experience as a player than Halak does, but Sanford has played mostly in the AHL. Apart from his 65 games over two seasons in 06 and 07 with the Blues, he hasn't had much playing experience in the NHL - which I think is a totally different ballpark in the mental aspect of the game. Sanford is not the goalie they want to help Price with his mental stuff (and if you ask me, that is where Price needs help).
   
   
5. If they trade Halak for a second line center... then what? So they have Price in Montreal. Sanford and Desjardins in Hamilton. If they call up Sanford then they have to go goalie shopping for Desjardins - unless we determine that one of the prospects can make the cut in the AHL. If Sanford is injured or they determine that he won't do well in the NHL, then they either call up Desjardins or go goalie shopping. Either way, unless one of the prospects is ready, they have to go goalie shopping if they trade away Halak.

I'm not saying that Gainey isn't going to trade Halak. I'm not saying that Halak should be Price's backup forever (even though I'd love that). What I am saying is that just because Gainey signed Sanford, it doesn't automatically mean that he going to trade Halak and that Sanford is going to take his place.

psst.... Jaro...Happy birthday!

I didn't even know it was Halak's birthday today. I feel kinda bad for not looking. Kinda. I don't want to look like a stalker or anything. Even if it says what it is on his profile... which I've never actually looked at... WHATEVER.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JARO!

I know you'll never see this and you're probably doing something interesting in Europe somewhere but yeah. It's the thought that counts, right? Right.

Yay for little Slovak goalies!